Boffins want to take away our pop

18 February 2013

Step away from the Tizer, lardasses – the Academy of Medical Royal Colleges today pronounced that fizzy drinks are so injurious to health they should be heavily taxed and treated with the same caution as cigarettes.

Over a quarter of adults in the UK are jolly fat people obese, and in order to deal with the crisis, the Academy, (which represents nearly every doctor in the UK) are suggesting strict measures on unhealthy foods.

As well as a 20% increase on sugary drinks, they also suggest an advertising ban on foods high in fat, sugar and salt before 9pm.

The report’s author Professor Terence Stephenson attacked soft drinks for being ‘just water and sugar’ and that a tax was needed to ‘encourage people to drink more healthy drinks.’

But Terry Jones (no, not that one) of the Food and Drink Federation, said the report ‘seems to be a damp squib and to add little to an important debate.’

Does a tax make sense, or does it just make you really fancy a can of Relentless and a bag of Wotsits?


  • Mustapha S.
    Will never be implemented, sounds too sensible.
  • brandon h.
    i'm guessing there would be no discount on other 'healthier' alternatives in return. and lets not forget that you could push everyone onto diet drinks, only to then tax them because we discover how bad artificial sweeteners are for you
  • Kev
    It never ceases to amaze me when very clever people come out with stupid things.
  • jokester
    Well, when you can buy 2 litres of coca-cola (i.e. a premium brand-name drink) for around the same price as 500ml of bottled water (which presumably costs far less to "make" and has no development costs), it's easy to see why people choose coca-cola... I drink far too much coke, and can't stand tap water (the 'hard' water around here anyway. 'Soft' water is much nicer, especially ice cold), but there is a distinct lack of reasonably-priced healthy drinks that actually taste nice! I also drink quite a bit of squash/juice but it is much less practical to take anywhere.
  • chewbacca
    So, what do people drink instead of "pop" (fucking stupid word the English use)? Tea/Coffee aren't always appropriate, water has no taste. "Juice" can have as much sugar as "pop", diet "pop" is carcinogenic etc etc.
  • ianpeters42
    Judging by the quality of the article they're already taken away your brain..
  • chrispeakcock
    ^ +1 Rather than thjis pish, can we have a story on the epic security leak over at your sister site last night. There's screenshots on the interwebs of mods being banned, site being defaced etc etc Was any user data accessed? Are they learning lessons? Do they care? THIS is the news from the trenches of the HotUKDeals community s0 c'mon BW, grow a pair...
  • Archie
    Juice is worse on teeth and stomach. Tax that.
  • chewbacca
    @chrispeakcock They won't let you post urls, but which google search terms would yield more info on this debacle? Always funny to lulz at the stupid hukkers!
  • badger
    Is food not high in fat, sugar and salt after 9pm?
  • chrispeakcock
    A google of 'hukd 1479027' is particularly lulzworthy. Then look at the cached image not the thumbnail. Access to the Admin account no less....
  • Mr M.
    Wouldn't their time be better spent curing aids rather than thinking up tax policies
  • chewbacca
    @chrispeakcock That is fucking hilarious, cheers!
  • Strawbear
    Pop's already gone up massively in the last few years with no lacking of takers. How will another few pennies on the price help? I'm all for an advertising ban tho, I'd make it 24 hours and include all products.
  • noshit
    Any obese who can not wipe their own arse I'd have packed on a bus and then pushed down a grassy slope sideways. They can all choke on each others blubber. Fat tubs of shit ffs.
  • chewbacca
    @noshit I'm presuming that English isn't your first language? If it is, please send me a refund, as the tax I spent on your education was clearly wasted. You illiterate fucking retard.
  • noshit
    @chewbacca Who's a clever boy then? "lulz". Dick.

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