Bitterwallet's Christmas List: No 19 - The INFLU mask
Look, Christmas is coming up and we’re looking forward to a few days off spent semi-conscious in front of the telly, gorging on sweets and Baileys and not having to worry about whether or not the whole beautiful, gluttonous experience is going to be knackered by the onset of The Swine Flu.
So we’ll be needing a bunch of these and we’ll be needing them in the next ten days, fortnight tops. They’re called INFLU masks and they’re designed to help you contract The Swine Flu so that you can get on with having it, get over it and get on with the festive celebrations.
It works with the help of a built-in, battery-operated fan that “increases the intake of viruses in ambient air through the respiratory system.” Get in there – no fannying about with antiseptic wipes or dodging out of the way whenever someone in the vicinity sneezes.
Check out the rest of our Christmas list here and decide amongst yourselves what you'll be buying us...