Bannatyne's Valentine's offer fails to find love
We predict a Scottish dragon who recently turned 60 getting all shouty and goggle-eyed at the employees of Bannatyne's health club in Peterborough when he sees this. Sent in by Bitterwallet reader J, this tempting and slightly pimpish email suggests you "Find a New Love this Valentines... by taking advantages of the benefits on offer."
"I didn't realise that 'finding love' was a benefit of joining Peterborough's premier health club," says J. "Dirty filthmongers, no wonder their monthly fees are so expensive - they need to cover the costs of all those happy endings."
If we were Mister Bannatyne, we'd be more angry that this was sent despite J explicitly asking to opt out of the mailing list, and because it appears to have been designed in 1994 on Microsoft Word by a boss-eyed man with ten thumbs:
Brand FAIL, offer FAIL and data control FAIL for Bannatynes. We're out.