Attention Starbucks! This is how we ALL feel - okay?

19 August 2009

[wearfluent via Daily What]


  • Nobby
    When there are no other coffee shops nearby and I have to use them, I always ask for a small filter coffee. A Tall Americano? No a small filter coffee. You mean a Tall Americano? No, I mean a small filter coffee. That's what we call a Tall Americano. OK, that's what I'll have, a small filter coffee. A Tall Americano coming up.
  • Nobby
    Or ... speak to them in Italian.
  • maxtweenie
    Lol @ Nobby. I always ask for a big fuck off white coffee, no cream or anything else that's not meant to go in coffee, especially if it's made of nuts. That always confuses them as apparently 'big fuck off white coffee' doesn't have an icon on their tills.
  • Laurz
    Nobby why would you argue over a name for a product? It's THEIR coffee so they can name the product whatever they want. Would you go into mcdonalds and order a large burger with lettuce, onions and things and when they say do you mean a big mac you'd argue with them and say 'no i mean a large burger with lettuce'? All companies use names for their products, whats so wrong with starbucks having names for theirs?
  • Tall S.
    @Larrz: Yep life is too short - but then I guess Nobby is quite properly irritated by them naming a "small" filter "tall" -unless of course they serve it in a very tall thin cup.
  • Sean
    Because Laurz, McDonalds serve up a particular combination of specific bun, lettuce, burger, gherkins, relish etc, in their own specific combination of ingredients/quantities. That makes it their product, they can call it a Big Mac. A filter coffee is a filter coffee. They don't do anything special to it, it uses the exact same ingredients, in the exact same quantities, in the exact same way as any other filter coffee. So, its a filter coffee.
  • Nobby w.
    Wonder if they have an icon for unneccessaryily-pretentious-named-drink? I always ask for a coffee- that's as far as I'm prepared to go? Any questions either get the a shrug or the word coffee repeated but slightly louder. Traditional English way of dealing with unknown languages and imbeciles.
  • Chris
    @sean So if I make a burger with a bun, lettuce and meat etc I have to call it a Big Mac? No I don't. How do you know what ingredients they use? They might add something special to it which you don't know.
  • Nobby w.
    Bring on the comments about what goes into a burger- cow's anus? Joke- I can't get sued for libel on here can I like on facebook? ;D
  • zeddy
    @Chris: Today's specials - semen or saliva.
  • Chris
    @zeddy Exactly my point!
  • Shaz
    Israeli supporting scum bags who take 40% of their turn over and bomb the fu*ck out of innocent people and then turn around and say they are terrorists. Would never support such scummy organisation, ever!
  • Sean
    @chris - yes, if you made a burger using a macdonalds bun, with macdonalds lettuce, a macdonalds burger, cooked the macdonalds way, etc, etc, yes. No, you don't have to call it a Big Mac - because thats trademarked and you would be in trouble. But yeah, its a Big Mac, and you'd likely be in trouble for stealing their recipe if you tried to sell it as something else. But Coffee is Coffee. There is no other way to make filter coffee, the beans are all pretty much the same. If you walked into Macdonalds and asked for a burger, they would give you a regular burger. If you walk into Starbucks and ask for a coffee, they look at you like they're going to spit in your face.
  • TheGuy
    That's funny Nobby, cause a americano isn't the same as a filter coffee. An americano is a shot of espresso topped up with hot water (in North America anyways). I don't think the employees actually know anything about coffee, at least that's my experience with sbucks.
  • LFC
    @TheGuy - No they don't, in the same way people who work in Currys etc know nothing about electrical equipment
  • sn0ttyang3l
    a solution to all you moaners - dont f**king go in there then if you dont like the way they call their drinks - SIMPLES
  • Dolph
    Starbucks is full of pretencious wankers anyway - steer well clear.
  • Nobby w.
    @ sn0ttyang3l What a flaming, trolling hypocrite. If you don't like the messages don't read them. ;)
  • Sean
    @Nobby Worshipper Ha ha
  • Brian
    Italian girls are very SEXY, i just need to find one who will copulate with me.
  • andy y.
    With a smooth patter like that you should have few problems.
  • andy y.
    Finding a hooker.
  • Brian
    My mum has allowed me an EXTRA 10 mins on the desk top, so i will say SACK that fucking OLD BASTERD Ferguson, fancy losing to some gays twats from Burnley
  • Brian
    Hi, Brian here again. My mother has asked me to apologise for using vulgar language. I told her it was due to the low-life wasters on this blog, but i will say SORRY (just to get breakfast in the morning)
  • Tony
    Filter coffee is not called an americano (thats an espresso with hot water) in Starbucks, its called a drip but filter coffee work OK for me, they sell plenty of it and have no problem understanding "small filter". They normally have a big sign up saying what the current filter brew is, they also did a free filter (drip) for all card holders every day for a month back in the spring. Guess you got a store where they are up their ass?
  • Eating I.
    Starpricks, take the piss out of them for all I care, next!
  • Father B.
    @ Brian: I had to say sorry to your mum to get breakfast in the morning too
  • Silvio b.
    Didn't get breakfast but did get 10 minutes on the worktop with Brian's Mum and then an EXTRA 10 mins on the washing machine. She is kinky- she's got a little Italian in her! -SB
  • Gary g.
    There's been many a time I've had a little Italian in me too.
  • Chris
    Sometimes you just gotta love this blog.
  • Silvio W.
    We'll see you at the next meet Chris. when the comments are better than the article we know that the correct folks are in charge.
  • swampy_donkey
    Wow @ LFC I work at Currys P/T and I also study physics at uni. I know a great deal about electrical goods,I read what hifi and research all the products just because I hate not knowing answers to questions people ask. There are a lot of staff like me who know what they are on about. I also agree that there aren't. I have received 0 product training in 2 years +. Don't dismiss a company by a few idiots who work there. If you want staff who know about everything they sell go to seven oaks and pay twice as much as Currys et al. I doubt you'd like that however.
  • Christopher
    >> I know a great deal about electrical goods, I read what hifi quote of the week.
  • Inactive
    " Don’t dismiss a company by a few idiots who work there. " That would be every Currys that I have been in to, that includes the Managers as well. Dumb arses.
  • Scoucer S.
    "I know a great deal about electrical goods, I read what hifi" - quote of the week. Overheard snippet of conversation on the bus this morning ... "Of course I know all about it. I do read the Argos Catalogue, you know!"
  • William
    @ swampy_donkey, "I also study physics at uni." It's plain to see that you're certainly not studying English.
  • I c.
    Uni can be tough to make ends meet. Good to meet someone who is investing in their future and who makes an effort in their job even when they are not pushed to. All hail swampy donkey, shame on you Christopher and William. Some folk are full of spite!
  • Martha F.
    Just thought I'd add a comment.
  • Mewling P.
    @William "It’s plain to see that you’re certainly not studying English." What a tosser.
  • Mike H.
    Mewl, will you shut the fuck up. I hate Starbucks and similar coffee based establishments. Can I have a normal coffee please? what kind of coffee, just a coffee thanks, espresso? Is that coffee? sort of... Americano? is that coffee? Sort of... just coffee with water please in a medium sized cup, not a fucking bucket, syrup? Syrup? Syrup?!! JUST A FUCKING COFF... Oh forget it...
  • devils a.
    I'm with snottyangel. If you don't like starbucks, don't go, stay back in the 70's with yer depressing greasy spoon with picture of trucks on the wall, for a cup of instant nescafe. I'll not miss you. One positive thing about the Starbucks made all our coffee-houses up their game & those that didn't, didn't deserve to stay open. Ha! Also, I don't go to the Audi garage & say: I'd like a car please... Certainly sir, which model were you interested in? A CAR PLEASE! A FUCKING CAR WHY MUST YOU FUCKING GERMANS COMPLICATE EVERYTHING WITH YOUR SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE OF AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING?!?!?!?!? Trust me, it just marks you for the asshat you are... Glad I could help!
  • Jeffrey A.
    @devils advocate Trust me, you've just marked yourself for the asshat YOU are... There isn't just 'a car' - made by anyone and everyone, from the exact same parts, to the exact same specifications etc. They are all completely different. But 'a filter coffee' is the fucking same, whether you buy it from Starpricks, Tesco, Iraq, your mum. If you want to be a snobbish little pompous frappachino drinking bum fucker, fair enough, but go do it with your other fellow frappachino drinking bum fuckers. You're telling us not to go to Starbucks if we don't like it - well, I don't. Now stop being such a hypocritical goat copulator and stop going into places where people who don't like Starbucks go (IE a thread about Starbucks being cunts), telling them that they're all wrong. Bumder.
  • Nobby
    The whole point of me asking for something like a small filter coffee is that they do not offer it on the menu. They have to dress it up as something it is not. If they sold a small american, I would actually ask for that. If they sold a small americano, I might ask for that, although I would probably significantlylower my voice at the end. Starbucks are all about "the coffee shop experience" rather than getting a drink. I also think that the staff that work there are incredibly crap at making coffee. I lived in Italy for many years, and will not drink espresso from a Starbucks here, simply because the staff cannot make it correctly. Part of the problem is that they always seem to put it into a cold cup, so it is cold by the time it is made. The major problem is that they are not well trained, the second problem is that they offer too many add-ons like syrup which takes them ages to serve people. Although I should say I only ever use them at airports and motorway service stations, when there is no alternative. On the high street, I can always find an alternative and will use that.
  • Pedant
    I've never been in a Starbucks, therefore I dont count myself qualified to comment on this story. Good Day Gentlemen.
  • Darren W.
    JEFFREY ARCHER - so Devils advocate was right then? just dont go to starbucks... NOBBY I still dont agree with your argument, why should you ask for a small filter coffee when they clearly dont offer that as a drink... why not look at the menu and then order the relevant item? like any normal coffee drinking person would? I love my italian coffee however im loving Indian coffee at the moment and when it comes to espresso's its not a science, its a simple made cup, if it bothers you so much you can ask the starbucks guy to heat the cup for you? However as a coffee fan I DO hear where you are coming from, I olny like my lattes with 3 shots of espresso not just the 2, so I always ensure they do it the way I like it. however, the best filter coffee you can purchase has to be at pret a manger, I suggest you try there filter cofee, they only roast the coffee for 20 minutes before disposing it and starting it again. i think some people will have to agree to disagree on here.
  • Darren W.
    CHRISTOPHER - thumbs up >> I know a great deal about electrical goods, I read what hifi quote of the week.
  • Mark
    Moan all you like about ordering the drinks because you're gonna be getting it to take out because all the seats are taken either by groups of school kids of bastards using the free wi- fi for hours on end. Either way, i don't like the fact i can't just have a coffee with milk please ,and a biscuit to dip in my coffee puts me in debt!!
  • h0dgy
    no u
  • Andrew R.
    @ Jeffrey Archer "But ‘a filter coffee’ is the fucking same, whether you buy it from Starpricks, Tesco, Iraq, your mum. If you want to be a snobbish little pompous frappachino drinking bum fucker, fair enough, but go do it with your other fellow frappachino drinking bum fuckers." You, sir, owe me a new keyboard. Bring me a Grande triple shot caramel macchiato made with today's Fairtrade blend while you're at it!
  • Switzerland
    Coffee is shit. Drink water. Done.

What do you think?

Connect with Facebook, Twitter, or just enter your email to sign in and comment.

Your comment