Apple's new Magic Mouse - a contradiction in terms?

21 October 2009

So Apple is making more money than God right now, and to celebrate they're going to try squeezing even more out of you. There's a new widescreen iMac, a new white MacBook that really should be dropping in price around now, and a new mouse - the Magic Mouse. If only Apple had offered an apology for the old version, it might have softened the blow of asking £55 for the new one.

It gives me no pleasure to say their previous effort was perhaps the worst product Apple ever produced. It was meant to be a sleek, ergonomic design that fitted the natural curves of your fingers. Unless you had a claw for a hand or it was withered like Jeremy Beadle's child paw, that wasn't going to happen - using the mouse meant locking your hand like a crab around it. The physical buttons on either side were placed so as to be inaccessible, clicking the front of the mouse may or may not have provided the left or right-click options you desired.

Bitterwallet - the new Magic Mouse from Apple

And then there's the roller ball on top. It filled up with dirt quicker than a hen night in Hull, and was soon rendered unusable. There was no easy way to clean it because the ball couldn't be removed. Oh, and it was wireless so I could enjoy having to re-establish the connection with my Mac several times a week when it disappeared for no good reason. Cheers. All in all, then - shite. I thank sweet baby Jesus mine was a present and I didn't pay £50 for it.

The new Magic Mouse combines iPhone's touch screen technology - allowing gestures and swipes across the top of the mouse without clicking - with the allure of more shiny white plastic no buttons. The kicker is it costs even more than the previous paperweight they sold you. Apple continuously refused to acknowledge there was any fault with the previous model when it clearly was far poorer than other products costing a fraction of the price - there wasn't a product with a lower rating on their own website. So far, I don't know anybody who's prepared to take the gamble on the Magic Mouse this time round.

15 comments

  • God
    Can I just remind you I make no money,I do this on a strictly amateur basis.
  • Paul S.
    Sorry God.
  • Neil
    I have the macbook pro and the gestures are great, but I think paying £55 for the pleasure of doing it on the mouse is a bit steep.
  • Bonehead
    A first from Apple - beautiful, stylish, sleek, and nicely specced! Looks quite cool actually.
  • ElBuc
    I'm Apple all the way except for their shite mice... Microsoft Intellimouse is the business.
  • applesux
    Please GOD... obliterate Paul!
  • Pablo
    Apple prices generally are shocking for the last few years. Not competitive in the slightest. Why should their new mouse be any different ? I used to be a bit of a fan of Apple stuff, but their pricing takes the piss now. Looking at the new line up of computers, the cheapest Apple laptop is now £799.... for white plastic! The same white plastic they were using on the ibook several years ago. And I really don't care that it's now unibody and has a glass trackpad. We're still in very uncertain times economically, and Apple are deluded.
  • K.
    Pablo, Sorry to say that I agree Apples prices are stupidly high, but unfortunately it's us who is deluded, as we the public are still paying it and pushing their profits ever higher!
  • pauski
    Dear God, Was it not you that forbid man to have the apple? hence we are all doomed with original sin?
  • God
    @ pauski That's a tricky question , so I won't be answering it directly.Just keep your nose clean.don't murder anybody,commit adltery and especially don't steal music or films from the internet and you should be ok.
  • Steven F.
    It looks awesome. I havn't used the earlier version so hope to have a new experience by using magic mouse.
  • Jeffrey A.
    You will insist on paying an imperial fucktonne of money just because things 'look shiney', so cut your jibber jabber. It's nobody but your own faults for insisting on contributing to their shitty design over functionality policy. Fools.
  • In f.
    @Jeffrey Archer Did you just read the article about the pies on ebay, by any chance?
  • Marc
    @God Is your space bar broken? I just got a Magic Mouse and it's rockin' my world, by the way. BetterTouchTool is a must for middle-click, three and four finger gestures etc. http://blog.boastr.net/?page_id=195
  • Gordon N.
    Amazing post. My family and I were just discussing this the other day. Also your post looks nice on my old laptop. And thats rare. Nice work.

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