Another day, another pathetic stunt from Ryanair

27 February 2009

There is now no doubt whatsoever that Michael O'Leary is a wind-up merchant. He will clearly doing anything whatsoever to ensure Ryanair's name never leaves the papers. Whether the attention is good or bad is seemingly irrelevant - as long as people are reading about Ryanair, then they're thinking about the airline more than its competitors.

The past week has seen the chief exec scrap check-in desks at airports and allowed customers to be treated like the shit on his shoe. Now O'Leary has told the BBC that he's considering fitting toilet doors on flights with a coin slot, so that passengers have to "spend a pound to spend a penny":

"One thing we have looked at in the past, and are looking at again, is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door... I don't think there is anybody in history that has got on board a Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound."

For fuck's sake. The problem is he's probably not joking; you can imagine he'd rather see kids piss their pants than have access to a toilet. O'Leary cites train stations that charge for using the amenities, but the difference is you pay for the convenience of not having to find public toilets; finding an alternative at 30,000 ft in a steel tube moving at 300mph isn't really possible.

Scrap that, there is an alternative. Piss in the aisles. Piss on the floor. Walk up to the toilets, and piss on the coin slot. And if you ever meet O'Leary, piss on his shoes. He may re-think the idea then, but probably not.

[BBC]

27 comments

  • Tralala
    The cruising speed of a 737 is more like 500mph, but other than that he is a 1st order twat
  • Paul S.
    @Tralala duly noted, sir.
  • Joff
    Fuck em. Dirty protests all round.
  • Tim
    Yeah, shit inside & the leave the bag for steward/stewardess to collect. Piss in a clear plastic bag & leave it on the seat. Stick chewing gum onto seats, tear them. He'll be paying millions in getting cleaned up & repaired. He is out of his mind but more importantly souless. Fuck Ryanair.
  • Tim
    He can make more money. By creating 3 or 4 rooms on the plane and house them with beautiful hookers and charge for using the service. Service with smile. By law, this is not illegal!!!!
  • warder
    Maybe some adults should be wearing those Tenna Nappies then so they can do their business without having to spend £1?
  • Joff
    @ ol liddle me lolage, I wouldn't normally resort to such potty-mouth behaviour but when presented with a story like this what else are you supposed to do.
  • ol l.
    @joff dont mind me mate, who am i to shit on ur parade
  • chrisg.
    Not like they're gonna sell any nasty £2 cups of "coffee" any more, unless it includes a free fast-unloading token for the shitter.
  • eric e.
    Can't see what all the fuss is about - I think it's a good idea, as more often than not you are buying your seat at a rock bottom (excuse the pun) rate so even an extra £1 for the loo still makes the flight cheaper than travelling on an airline that doesn't charge to use the toilet. I know which choice I would make. It may also deter some of the travellers who seem to go to the loo several times on one short journey - moral if you don't want to pay either don't drink or use another airline
  • jaysexy212005
    Any way to make a profit.
  • ShakesHeadSadly
    @Eric - Just how many shares do you have in Ryanair?
  • The D.
    I am already in training to master the skill of carefully balancing myself so I can pinch off a turd right on top of his coin slot. It'll cost him more than pound to clean that up.
  • george
    I flew Ryan air a week ago and the air hostesses were asking for tips.
  • Mike O.
    Yeah well feck you all pay up or pi$$ your pants, argh to be ure to be sure. Just when you though I couldn't screw any more out of you. HA HA lucky leprecauns and pay as you pi$$ is coming. O 'Leary' by name and Leary in business. I'm worth fuking millions so feck orf.
  • Shamus
    I work for Ryan Air and I can confirm that there will be a charge for using the toilet. There has also been an internal memo that food should be laced with laxative and the drinks with diuretics. I think it is disgusting what Michael is doing but the man has no morals. I can also confirm that passengers weighing over 80kg will be asked to pay a levy of a euro per kg. That man is an absolute prize knacker.
  • Shamus
    There will also be a clause in the ticket T+C stating that if a plane should crash, next of kin will be charged 50 euro per kg of their loved ones remains as a handling charge.
  • not_the_messiah
    Bit harsh on you if you happen to develop a nasty case of the green apple splatters mid-flight...
  • eric e.
    Shamus has got it spot on - surcharge the tubbies I say - if they can afford 8 large MacMuffins and fries they can afford a quid to get rid of it !!
  • Martin
    I've pissed in a plastic cup on a train before, when all the toilets had out of order on them. If you have a newspaper and are in a window seat, I reckon you could do the same on a plane without anyone noticing. I find the lottery ticket sales on Ryanair funny. As you wave at the underpaid Eastern European as he walks along the aisle desperately trying to sell a few tickets, you can see the glee as they think they have found another mug punter they are about to fleece, only to find out that all you want to know is the time. I do it on every flight.
  • agaveworm
    Mile high club for £1? Screw that. I'll bone her in Duty Free for nothing..........
  • Dave T.
    O' leary is the master - bow down now
  • Shamus
    I can also confirm that Michael will start turning the Ryan Air planes into brothels. You will be able to ride an air hostess for 50 euro in the toilet. You still have to pay the £1 for the toilet though.
  • Disneyfan
    Sounds good to me. Pay a pound, and stay in there for the flight. More legroom than the veal stall seats on his plane, and its quiet and private. First class for a £1 suppliment. lol.
  • Ryanair’s B.
    [...] not going to bother mentioning that the grinning loon has revealed his comments concerning fitting coin-operated slots to toilets on board Ryanair flights to be a PR stunt. Oh. [...]
  • Colostomy b.
    Piss in the sick bag then hand it to the trolley dollies on the way off the plane - I'm sure that will upset them a little?
  • KOLU
    Their last screw up to their captive unfortunate customers: Ryanair Raises Hold Baggage Charges By 66%. I call this company GarbageAir, not ryanair The real problem is that they can afford to take passengers for idiots, maltreat them, invent fees on the go, and harass them on the flight with their ridiculous jingles for one very simple reason: Garbage air is A MONOPOLY. If you live in a average sized city, you will likely have no choice but to use garbage air if you want to fly. If you live in Ireland: TOO BAD ! There are only 2 companies there: garbage air and Aer (cuni)Lingus. Except if you live in Dublin where you have a bit more choice, you will have no choice but to fly with one of these two low costs airlines. Aer (cuni)Lingus are a tiny bit better, not always treat people better, are often late and cost the same price as garbage air. TO STOP A MONOPOLY, LEGAL ACTION HAS TO BE TAKEN.... .

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