Angry man launches site about call centres

telephone operator Frustrated man, Nigel Clarke, has launched a website listing the call centre menu sequences for accessing a myriad of services, in a bid to cut out loads of wasted hours in our lives. He kicked off his project after losing the will to live while on the phone to various companies.

Not surprising as some automated menus have nearly 80 options.

Clarke uses the example of speaking to an adviser at HMRC, which only requires pressing four buttons but takes six minutes to get through each menu level.

Mr Clarke said of his site, that it is a "labour of love" which he built after seven years of creating post-it notes of sequences he used regularly. Using Skype and recording software, he amassed a huge amount of sequences, which sounds furiously sad, but great for us if we want to speed up the process of ringing a company.

So, if you need to reporting a water leak to Lloyds TSB's home insurance department, instead of actually listening, you can now simply dial 1, 3, 2, 1, 1, 5, 4 instead of navigating 78 menu options.

"The companies have these systems in place for a reason," said Mr Clarke. "I'm not against the system, but I am against bad design. No menu is best - but if it is a necessity then design it properly. I think two levels maximum is ideal. Some stretch to three. You don't really want much more than that."

Let us know how you get on with it, should you use it.


  • Strawbear
    Bitterwallet labelling someone else as angry? Love it.
  • Wongaporkpies
    loads of ******* or hashes fucks up most systems or loads of zeros or a combo of all 3 can work
  • Sicknote
    Get a life you fucking twat
  • Spencer
    I find this method works best: Pretend you're a new customer, or you want to pay a bill. If you're willing to hand over your cash - you'll find you speak to somebody much quicker... When you speak to sales: tell them you want to be transferred to relevant dept or the switchboard. Works most times - plus sales lines are often freephone so double bonus!

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