All hail the picnic table jeans!

There’s no denying that we all like an impromptu picnic now and again, but you never know when the urge will strike to just sit down and chomp away on some jam sandwiches, pickled onions and Monster Munch. It’s certainly a bind having to lug a picnic table or rug around with you wherever you go.)

NO MORE! Say a big hello to the Pic Nic Pants – they’re trousers but not as we know them. While you’re walking around, they look like (fairly) ordinary jeans, albeit with a bit of cloth hanging down. But plonk yourself down somewhere and hey presto – you’ve got a portable picnic table right in front of you!


There’s even a handy little side pocket, in which you can keep cutlery – or a Taser, to be deployed whenever passers-by take the piss out of you (which, let’s face it, will be ALL THE TIME).



  • Her L.
    They look a little bit like the saggy-arse / filled-nappy jeans that the "youth" seem to be intent on wearing. Out of interest, with these Pic Nic Pants, would the fly be above or beneath the "table"? I'm predicting much hilarity, either way.
  • Yve
    Was just looking back to see when the original article about those appeared. It's undated, but I bet it was Sunday.
  • Mr. P.
    I don't like Monster Munch.
  • Immigration A.
    Mr Patel, you have failed the new Britishness test and will be deported immediately (pending four years of appeals).
  • Mary H.
    I Would love to drop my cream all over those flaps.
  • Mike H.
    Don't they make these jeans already? You know, those tight but baggy jeans with the crotch round the ankles, bit like those elastic ankle jeans. Teamed with a tight polo t-shirt, sockless plimsoles and a trillby you too could look like a cunt. Apparently, looking like a complete dick, is 'in' these days. So these jeans are cool.
  • Alexis
    So if you get soup all over them you'll look like a hobo for the rest of the day
  • The Y.
    @mike LOL! You am so crusty old. "cool" was me dad says. these longs are shit man. I am liftin some soon blood. Shee-ite!
  • The B.
    ^^^^^ Does anyone have any idea what the blue blazes this buffoon is wittering about?
  • Shaniaa
    Wot my bruv said innit. Wankaaaaa!
  • Boris
    I'll get one of my community advisors on the job for you The Real Bob.
  • Dick
    ^^ I do. He said that he is a bender.
  • Boris
    Apparently it translates roughly into this: Highly Amusing! You are an old decrepit person using outdated language similar to that which my father used. These trousers are very good indeed. So good that I may have to shoplift/mug somebody for them in the near future to obtain them my good friend. Wow!
  • The B.
    Thank you very much Boris. I tried typing it into Google translate but it ran away clutching it's wallet to it's chest.
  • Shaniaa
    Ah dinnae ken who that shaniaa is but she beter get anuva name cuz this is ma name on ere nd im gonna kick that slags ass if she trys to b me again!
  • Shaniaa
    thats no even how i talk, if ah ever c tat english cunt in glasgae ill gie her a smashing.
  • Mary H.
    Actually, subtextually, the Youth said, Mike, you are 100% right. We do look like a bunch of tools. But I have to continue looking like a twat so it seems I am rebeling even though I really do think you're cool and my dad's cool. My mates will think I'm a wanker if I don't wear this shite even though secretly they think it looks shite too. We are just to weak to wear normal clothes. I really don't want to look like I've just been dressed by Gok.
  • Raggedy
    @ Shaniaa & Shaniaa There's only one way to sort this out... I'll provide the baby oil and mud.
  • Spencer
    I'm starvin love..... Open yer legs up and get your flaps out..... I can see this being very popular with apple fanboi's. riding to the park on their penny farthing. Pulling out 6 solar panels to power their imac. then eating apple segements while sucking off any passers by....

What do you think?

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