A real hair moustache means a lip of honour
In a dark and lonely corner of the intermaweb, understated treasure can often be unearthed. For example, these Gentlemen's Human Hair Moustaches on Amazon:
For the man in life who can't grow a suitable mustache for a specific occasion, but then wouldn't look ridiculous with one that appears to be denser than granite, or care too much that he's wearing another man's hair above his mouth. That's quite a niche market, yet the items are out of stock. Also there are no reviews as of yet - why not change that this Easter weekend? It's what Jesus would want, probably.