Alliance & Leicester pretend to give away money
Banks. They're all a shower of shark-eyed greed mongers aren't they? They charge you for even thinking about missing a direct debit payment that you set up yourself and managed online with very little input by them. They never do anything good for you and have the barefaced cheek to stick an all-singing, all-dancing Howard in our faces.
However, Alliance & Leicester are getting all touchy-feely by offering £100 to you for completely free! How's about that? Isn't that lovely of them? What kind hearted souls they are. Hang on, what's this. Hello smallprint.
See, A&L are offering this bung to anyone who opens a Premier Current Account. However, the offer isn't available to anyone who has a current account with the following: A&L, Abbey, Cahoot or Cater Allen. Also, to qualify for your hundred quid, you have to switch all your direct debits to the new account as well as making a deposit of at least £500.
They promise junk like no fees on overdrafts and 0.5 per cent interest is paid on balances up to £2,500 and 0.1 per cent on balances above that amount. Thrilling. The fun and games don't stop there either. Those fun-filled A&L guys are offering account holders under 65 free annual multi-trip European holiday insurance. Anyone over 65 will presumably die quite soon and be no use to A&L or something.
One thing they haven't thought about is just how much of a pain in the rear sorting all that lot out is. Anyone with anything resembling a life won't see the promise of 0.5 per cent interest and think 'sod going to the pub! I've got forms to fill in!' are they?
You are? You make me sick.
If you want to find out more about it these words that are a different colour.