Woman's £80k Bentley wrecked by a fake valet

In a triumph for minimum wage Walter White-esque jet sprayers everywhere, some over privileged woman’s Bentley got a valet car wash and ended up looking like this. Oops.


Jessica Sawyer, from Bramhall, Cheshire, was distraught when the £80,000 Bentley GTC her mum bought for her for her 30th birthday was totalled after she put it into the five star ‘Wash and Shine’ in Cheetham Hill, Manchester.

When she discovered that instead of a nice polish it had been driven through the car wash reception area by a thief, she burst into tears. But the car wash deny responsibility, saying that the guy she gave the keys to didn’t even work there. Police have refused to get involved, saying that it is a civil matter.

Obviously, poor Jessica will be sobbing into her 10,000 thread count Egyptian cotton pillows at this terrible situation – and bemoaning her insurance premiums when the £38 grand worth of damage is fixed.

Sorry, but let’s all take a moment to play the WORLD'S SMALLEST VIOLIN. She gave her keys to some random serf, assuming he was there to shine her 80k car. An 80k car bought as a birthday present, while other people are lucky to get a crumpled tenner and kick up the arse. Now she has a rubbish car like the rest of us.

Seems like a happy ending to me.


  • badger
    In what way is is a civil matter?
  • Natty
    Might not even get the insurance to pay up as she handed the keys to the thief.
  • Jeremy
    Because its a car "accident" She gave permission for the thief to use the car. Provided the thief has insurance and a licence - no problem. She's lucky the police don't crush her car.
  • shiftynifty
    Lucy...P.O.T.D lol made my day...Jessica...read and weep...listen to common people by pulp....you`ll learn more
  • Zeddy
    Now we know why it's called bitterwallet.
  • Justin A.
    I think it's the pillow cases that are 10,000 thread rather than the pillows but otherwise, great story!
  • Grammar N.
    Liability for the damage is a civil matter, though i'm sure what the "thief" did was criminal damage. If she lives in Bramhall what is she doing taking a Bentley to a car wash in Cheetham Hill? There are plenty of places that valet cars in Bramhal.
  • Justin A.
    Cheetham Hill might be a cheaper valet and done quicker. She was likely on her way somewhere and saw the wash, thinking "I'll do it now while I've got 30 mins" while she pops onto the nearby retail park.
  • Tim B.
    Reading the full story, rather than the bits BW decided to pick out, it seems that this woman turned up and gave her keys to the bloke at the car wash, who was washing the car in front of hers. The bloke left the car for a good 15 minutes before driving it into the building. He then made off on foot. None of the car park staff challenged this random bloke washing cars in their car park, or attempted to chase him after he demolished their building. Police attended, but there doesn't appear to be a crime here - she gave her keys to a bloke who is fairly obviously an employee, so no theft; the car park owner denying liability is quite correctly a civil matter. Insurance have already paid out and are taking legal action against the car park to recover the money - action which, based on the information given, they will almost certainly win.
  • Maximus
    The writer is a bitter person, i hope when hyper inflation kicks in he is on the streets.
  • HW
    BITTERwallet indeed.
  • Natty
    @Jeremy As the thief supposedly didn't work for the car cleaners (which IMO is bullshit) then even if they had their own car insurance that does have DOC that would cover only third party damage so Bentley remains fucked, reception gets fixed.
  • Chewbacca
    Ha ha ha. Stupid entitled bitch. The fucking moron.
  • Sarah
    Jealous much, Ms Sweet?
  • fibbingarchie
    So how many of the jealous fuckers would refuse a free Bentley if it was given to them? Come on, own up and look stupid.
  • jokester
    ^ CORRECTION: I think I made the correct choice by taking the 3 points.
  • Colin
    Lucy 'bitter' Sweet obviously is a pennyless student who can't stand anyone having any money, wait till a few years when she isn't poor any more and watch her writing style change.
  • Chewbacca
    ^Penniless. You fucking moron. Oh, and 'til. You fucking moron. Did I say you were a fucking moron? You fucking moron.
  • shiftynifty
    With a name like Colin...you really are a fuckwit....And purlease change the feral trolley BW
  • Suhail
    Meh, it'll wax out...
  • dazza
    Chewbacca epitomises the envious and jealous masses.
  • PlatinumPlatypus
    jokester, it is not an offence if that driver is uninsured as long as it's not driven on the public highway.
  • hillsandvalets
    How do you do that sort of damage with a hoover, a jetwash, and some wonder wheels?
  • Alan
    Jokester, if the friend claimed they are insured to drive and were not you are not at fault and cannot be fined. If you did not ask and assumed they had insurance then you are at fault. Of course, you may have a hard time proving it Alan
  • jokester
    @PlatinumPlatypus: Good point. @Alan: Unfortunately, the law says that it is your responsibility to make sure the person has valid insurance to drive your vehicle. However, the law ignores the fact that this is practically impossible - an insurance certificate isn't enough since the policy may have been cancelled. The only way I can think to do this is make the person phone their insurance company and confirm the insurance covers them to drive your vehicle. Also, the Citizens Advice Bureau were less than useless on this issue and couldn't help or advise in any way, shape or form :(
  • Kevin
    Thanks Tim
  • Bogbrush
    Great stuff guys!
  • Han S.
    Who was it used the word "serf", Lucy?
  • Big M.
    Jokester - you lied to the authorities then by saying you were driving when you weren't then?
  • jokester
    @Big Mozzer: I don't believe I ever said that I was driving - as the owner, they automatically assumed it was me. Regardless, I undoubtedly did the right moral thing - the system is clearly wrong, badly implemented and always seems to rely on the fact that if you don't run through all of the hoops in exactly the right way and time-frame without being given any information or clues on how to accomplish the task, then you are disproportionally punished. On a related note: "Ignorance is no excuse" - um, so we're all expected to know the massively overcomplicated legal system off by heart despite the fact that even police officers, lawyers and judges don't ?????
  • Rich M.
    As the owner of a B turbo R I would personally stab the fucker in the face if they did this to my B. WE KILL CAR THIEVES OR SMASH THIER HANDS UP

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