Magpies - One For Sorrow, Two For A Guaranteed Increase In Your Insurance Premium

Lloyds TSB Insurance have revealed some of the weirdest claims they’ve had to deal with in 2008 – and top of the list is the bloke who rang them to say “I’ve shot my telly.”

The man in question wasn’t reacting as any sane, tooled-up individual would to an episode of Bonekickers, but in fact had accidentally fired the gun while cleaning it.

Other favourites included the man who claimed for a number of sex toys that had been half-inched by a burglar and the bloke who had his glasses nicked from his windowsill by an opportunist magpie.

The AA’s insurance faction also issued their ‘Best Of 2008’ list a couple of weeks ago, and it seems that magpie-related stories were the in-thing last year. One of their customers was on her way to work when a magpie flew in front of her. Remembering the popular magpie-based saying, 'one for sorrow, two for joy' she peered around for the second – only to career into the back of the car in front.

Our favourite came from a Mr. Woodford, repeated here verbatim from his claim- "I was in the middle of about a dozen cars and my car was bashed front and rear. The cars all crunched up like a concertina. While we waited for the recovery trucks, the chap from the car in front took out, of all things, a concertina! He was supposed to be playing at a carol concert so he started playing Christmas carols for us instead!”

You couldn’t make it up eh readers? Happy Christmas!

What – it’s January? Shite.


  • Maggie
    How did he know it was a magpie if he wasn't wearing his glasses?
  • Andy D.
    How do we know you're REALLY called Maggie? Seems a bit convenient...
  • Bill B.
    The main story in the Mirror ( and the Metro ( also mentions someone who claimed for a new bed after going at it too much. That was me!! :)
  • Andy D.
    Good lad!
  • ungulator
    i'm not really scared of any animals, but I find magpies slightly scary..luckily they're just as scared of people as they rarely come in the garden
  • Mike H.
    Thanks for the wildlife information there ungulator
  • Mike H.
    Maggie - Because the stupid bitch that crashed into the car infront was franticly asking around the neighbourhood to see if they'd seen the second, who was nicking the glasses of OAP's whilst his mate was trying to get cars to crash into each other
  • piggy
    i am secretly a magpie disguised as a pig
  • fatty
    i am actually a fatty :'(

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