BMW recall 1.3million faulty motor cars

27 March 2012

bmw_logoBMW are recalling 1.3 million cars for repair worldwide, including 109,000 in the UK, because of a defective battery cable.

So what ghastly, unswervingly dangerous thing is this faulty cable doing? Is it making cars explode? Is it ejecting passengers out of the sunroof when the car reaches a certain speed?

Well, the German carmaker has said that the cars were being called back because of a possible problem with a battery cable covering in the boot, which could prevent the car from starting at all. Oh, and possible fire. So which cars are rubbish then? Well, the recall will be of interest to those who own 5 and 6 Series BMWs built between 2003 and 2010.

Don't worry if you've no idea what type of BMW you've got as you'll be notified by letter from the company and you'll be able to get it repaired free-of-charge. The repair takes under an hour to do, so you won't be without your car for too long, so no-one need know that you're a tiny-penised salesman for very long.

In a statement the company said: "In some remote cases, the battery cable cover inside the boot of these vehicles may be incorrectly mounted. This can result in the electrical system malfunctioning, the vehicle failing to start and, in some cases, to charring or fire."

Fewer than 1% of the cars BMW has so far inspected for the issue have exhibited the problem, a BMW spokesman added. Why they're bothering with all this, is beyond us.

TOPICS:   Motoring   Recalls


  • Razor
    For one hour, I may finally be able to drive in the right hand lane without some tosspot wanting me to move over into the stream of traffic doing 30mph behind some old granny who can't move to the left lane. Yay.
  • Mike H.
    Let the cunts burn!
  • heywood_jablome
    "Fewer than 1% of the cars BMW has so far inspected for the issue have exhibited the problem, a BMW spokesman added. Why they’re bothering with all this, is beyond us." Yes, that's why the british have such a great car manufacturing base now. "Not bothering" has turned this country to shit. I have a 2009 M5, but i'm not going to "bother" to hand it in as it's started fine for the last 2 and a half years, oh and hasn't caught fire as yet.
  • heywood_jablome
    Mike, why don't give us your familiar rundown on why you can't afford a new BMW, AUDI or Aston Martin ?
  • Mary H.
    At least for a while, there will be 109'000 less wankers on the road, maybe we'll beable to get from A-B without being cut-up, over taken on bends, gestured at or 1" tail-gaited on the motor way. And if they burn, the world will be a better place to live with the death of these wankers.
  • Tyler D.
    If a new car built by my company leaves Chicago traveling west at 60 miles per hour, and the rear differential locks up, and the car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside, does my company initiate a recall? You take the population of vehicles in the field (A) and multiply it by the probable rate of failure (B), then multiply the result by the average cost of an out-of-court settlement (C). A times B times C equals X. This is what it will cost if we don't initiate a recall. If X is greater than the cost of a recall, we recall the cars and no one gets hurt. If X is less than the cost of a recall, then we don't recall.
  • Mike H.
    Hi heywood_jablome - The people who drive BMW/Audi's (not sure why you put Astons in there? Not really in the same league) don't own them, they are company cars. No, I can't afford one, even if I could, I wouldn't want one becasue you are instantly considered a cunt. They are very good cars, I have no quarms with them. Unfortunately, it's the type of person that drives them, or cunts as they are known. Now get back to driving dangerously in your BMW/Audi you stupid fucking cunt!
  • Mr M.
    I think there's a lot higher failure rate than estimated, the cables of most BMW's seem to be damaged preventing any sort of indicators working. Either that or they're all just cunts.
  • The m.
    Mike Hock for President!!!! He should replace Moff as well.
  • CapitalistBitchBoy
    Maybe they can fix the indicators at the same time - thats a problem on most Beemers. I also find that the best way to annoy a Beemer driver is to slow down when they tailgate by turning off my cruise control, then tap the brake pedal when they get really close. Also works with LandRovers.
  • Important P.
    I have been realising over the past few years that the Chinese are getting freebies. The silent majority must elect Boris Johnson as Prime Minister! You heard it here first.
  • Mike H.
    I drive a BMW and I wear a bluetooth headset.

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