Big cars + small parking spaces = £500m of bumps and scrapes

You know how cars are getting bigger and wider? And the bigger the car, the more likely it’ll be driven by someone with no spatial awareness, possibly playing Fruit Ninja on their phone while Bluetoothing their mum?

tank car

Well, add that to the charmingly outmoded small spaces in UK car parks, and you’ve got yourself some bumps and scrapes – costing drivers £500million a year. According to a survey by Halfords, cars have widened by 16% in recent years, while parking spaces haven’t changed for 20 years. The result is that 10 million drivers a year are scratching their paintwork trying to force their gas guzzling behemoths into spaces that just weren’t designed for them.

38% of drivers said they thought parking spaces were too small, naming supermarkets and train stations as the worst offenders. And some argue that local councils are deliberately make parking spaces smaller to maximize profit - and that Department of Transport guidelines for the size of parking spaces have been the same since 1994.

So what’s the solution? Make car parks really enormous until they cover the EARTH? Make cars even bigger, until they resemble monster trucks that can crush smaller cars in their wake? Or perhaps buy a smaller car that doesn’t look like a wanker’s tank – and try to be considerate enough not to drive it into the side of other people’s motors?


  • jim
    people in big cars cant drive or park. there i have said it
  • Justin A.
    I remember a BMW driver leaving his saloon across 2 spaces in a multi-story. Not just crossing a white line a bit, but half his car in one space, and half in the other, taking over both spaces. Couldn't help myself, had to leave a note saying 'One car, one space, you arrogant prick' on his windscreen.
  • Chewbacca
    You missed a bit: "Big cars + small parking spaces + women drivers = £500m of bumps and scrapes" Anyway, some car parks are so poorly designed that this is bound to happen. Yes, the driver is always 100% to blame, but you can appreciate how it happens. The fucking morons.
  • james d.
    what exactly is bluetoothing your mum?
  • van d.
    @james dewitt Why don't you ask your mum?
  • Chewbacca
    Yeah Jimmy, ask your mum. I "blue" her "tooth" every night. Fnarr fnarr. The fucking moron.
  • Captain W.
    @Chewie Uncharacteristically, you forgot to include immigrants in your equation, which is surprising as I've heard on the Polish grapevine that it can be cheaper to buy a driving license over there than to spend the money on those damned lessons.
  • Chewbacca
    @Dumb Hinger She was cremated. So that we could be sure that the bitch couldn't come back. No teeth left now. Sad times. Still, you're a fucking wanker. And a twat. Moron. @General Wanker I rarely mention immigrants, statistically less than 5% of my posts do (you can check this). In any case, Polish folks are mostly white Christians, and thus not exactly the biggest threat to our society. You know exactly what I'm referring to. You fucking moron.

What do you think?

Your comment