The smartest World Cup apps for your smartphones
The FIFA World Cup is very nearly upon us which means that, for football haters, their lives will be a living hell. They should take solace from the fact that it'll be a living hell for England fans as well as we invariably balls-up the tournament, turning our jangled nerves into apathetic anger. Anyway, you'll no doubt be pissing about with your phones all the way through, so here are a variety of apps to keep you entertained as our boys let us down again.
That irritating droning noise coming from the stands is, of course, football bores talking tactics. However, there'll be another droning irritant called the vuvuzela. Essentially it is a plastic trumpet thing which South Africa's football fans love to toot. Download this app and you make your phone the most annoying thing in the pub. Available for Android and iPhone.
The Official England App keeps you up to speed with all the latest World Cup news and provides you with info about fixtures and player profiles. Jim Beglin would be advised to download this so he doesn't sound quite so monumentally hopeless in the pundit seat this year. This app - developed by the FA - also gives you access to video footage from FA.TV, which means you can watch England training sessions and interviews with Capello and his squad. Available on the iPhone for £2.99
Lucky enough to be going to South Africa to watch some games? Well, turn your phone into a SatNav with the ALK CoPliot live which will guide you around South Africa so you hopefully don't end up walking in the wrong bit of town getting mugged at knifepoint. Unless, of course, you're getting mugged because you've got your posh phone on display for all to see. Retails at £33 and available for Android and iPhone.
This app gives you extensive news coverage pulled in from Fifa.com and a calendar for fixtures and information on the group tables. You can also watch live games straight from the app, so if you're weeping on the pan with agonising squits, you'll still be able to watch the matches. Great stuff. It costs 99p and is available on Android. It may not be legit, so see here for more options.
When you're bored of trying to work out how the second phase will shape up after working out every possible result, you might find yourself utterly bored with your own footballing autism. Why not test your footballing trivia skills with this quizzing app? This lite version has 50 questions that will test your footballing brain and a 90 second timer that will add some sweat to your brow. Available on iPhone.