‘Skint and not getting any!!111 LOL ☹’

British people are too busy worrying about money and wasting their lives on social networks to do the one thing that is free AND fun – having sex. So says the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, published today.


According to the survey, people in the 16-44 age bracket are having less sex than they did 10 years ago – just under 5 times a month – as we’re all too paralysed with worry about our low incomes and using Facebook and Twitter to distract us from our woes. They’re calling it the ‘recession impact’ (But a good alternative would be ‘Twitter Droop.’)

Professor Kay Wellings said: ‘There's a strong relationship between unemployment and low sexual function, according to the literature. That is to do with low self-esteem, depression. At the other end of the scale iPads and computers have all breached the boundary between the home and the bedroom.’

Yes, all those under-the-covers ipads and smartphones are stopping us getting some good loving. We’re so distracted by watching Kanye’s video and then the following 36 spoof versions of Kanye’s video, that we’re failing to ride off into the sunset naked on a motorbike ourselves.

Are we OK with that? Well only one in 10 of us admitted to having sexual problems, and cited ‘lack of interest’ as a common reason not to do it. So maybe we just prefer to be on Facebook?

Surely not…


  • leeisgod
    Unemployment linked to low sexual function, someone tell that to my neighbour. Popping out kids as if there was a shortage.
  • Dick
    I am willing to bet 18 years olds are having more sex than they did 10 years ago. As they were only 8. And probably only half of them were doing it back then.

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