Nokia think it's hip to be square with the X5

Difficult to know where to start with this. Nokia execs recently acknowledged that the internet had transformed the telecommunications industry. All the major manufacturers cite the need for handsets and an infrastructure that can better manage rich content. The real growth in handsets is currently smartphones with a touchscreen interface that ties all the functionality together, and it's not unreasonable to suggest that mobile applications are enhancing the consumer experience even further, across all handsets.

So. The latest handset to be released by Nokia has a tiny screen, seemingly no internet access, no touchscreen, and seemingly no sign of integration with the Ovi Store for users to download apps. It's the Nokia X5 and it seems to be as much use as a thatched hen.

That said, it's aimed at the teenage market and will launch in Indonesia first. Presumbably it's still 1993 in that part of the world, judging by the promo video. Rubbish. It reminds use of the arse-achingly pointless Nokia 7600.


  • Sockatume
    Less than two seconds of googling got me a press shot with the Ovi Store icon, not that you need it to install apps on a Nokia, while engaging my basic reading ability tells me that it runs S60 3rd FP2 with social networking integration. It has world-band HSPA, GPS, wi-fi, bluetooth, etc. etc. Two seconds of Googling, Paul. If you want to make uninformed comments about a gadget on the basis of a YouTube video, would you mind posting them as YouTube comments instead of here? It makes the blog look stupider by association.
  • Issac M.
    @Paul What the fucks a thatched hen?
  • bob
    Son, you got burned.
  • Howard M.
    Shake to listen to unread messages from your carer.
  • IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay
    Or, shake to listen to unread messages from your career. Hint: you can just hear something going down the pan.
  • Gunn
    Nokia do make strange phones, remember the 7280.
  • Pizza_D_Action
    @ Sockatume - what does it matter if it has GPS, wi-fi or even comes with a gold plated arse crack scratcher.... the point still stands that it is an utterly shite phone that I wouldn't buy for my dog.
  • Colonel S.
    Foxes like hens So I keep my hens in pens Yours in a secret recipe of breadcrumbs with herbs and spices Colonel Sanders Kentucky
  • a418552
    Does that mean that a thatched fox eats a thatched hen?
  • Sockatume
    Pizza, it's not about how shit the phone is, it's about how shit this post is. The phone presents umpteen targets for derision and Bitterwallet would still rather flail blindly around on assumptions basedon a terrible marketing video which tells you nothing.
  • mike
    shake the phone and listen out for message balls? WTF
  • Ted S.
    Nokia? Shitnokia more like.
  • The B.
    It was only 4 years ago that Nokia phones edge, now they're on a par with Samsung.
  • Paul S.
    Sockatume - congratulations on Googling at 3.30 in the afternoon once the story had broken all over the net, rather than at 7 this morning when the post was originally written and all we had was a link to YouTube. Patent those 20/20 hindsight spectacles, you'll make a fortune sunshine.
  • dunfyboy
    To be fair, he only Googled it 20 minutes after BW actually got round to posting it. At least it's not a post about the new iphone.
  • Paul S.
    We don't always publish the instant we write something. Some stuff goes up instantly, other stuff gets scheduled and muddled about it fit in as and when. I should have checked the post after it was pushed back. I didn't. I'm a dick. At least it's brought a little purpose to somebody's dark and bitter heart tonight. And we'll do the iPhone tomorrow when the tariffs come out.
  • Mr O.
    Will it blend?
  • Ryan E.
    I hope Paul Smith blends. He is annoying, wont admit that he completely fudged this one without any type of comeback.
  • Issac M.
    @ Ryan - you may have a problem with your reading skills. Paul has admitted 2 posts back that he's a giant veined one-eyed trouser snake. We all agree. There's your culpability. @ Paul - thatched hen?
  • Jack
    That video makes the phone look so shit.

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