Married man claims affair is "an iPhone glitch"
Throughout history, men have been found conkers-deep in all the wrong people places. Every conceivable means of squirming out from these inexcusably tight spots has been sought by the gentlemen in question; sometimes successfully, other times less so.
One excuse that is unlikely to hold water is; "What happened dear, was that I accidentally took a photo of myself bollock naked which, due to a well know iPhone glitch, not only attached itself to the email address of a woman but sent itself to her as well." Ah yes, that old chesnut. In fact, it'd take a guy with pretty big balls (which may or may not be visible in said photo) to a) dream up such a preposterous story and b) think it'll actually work should his wife discover what's going on.
Which she does. So let's pick up the story with Susan, who posted on Apple's official support forum:
Please help! I took my husband's i-phone and found a raunchy picture of him attached to an e-mail to a woman in his sent e-mail file (a Yahoo account). When I approached him about this (I think that he is cheating on me) he admitted that he took the picture but says that he never sent it to anyone. He claims that he went to the Genius Bar at the local Apple store and they told him that it is an i-phone glitch: that photos sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent. Has anyone ever heard of this happening? The future of my marriage depends on this answer!
Sure, everyone's heard of that bug Susan. No wait, sorry, they haven't at all. In fact there are only two posters in the whole of the Apple forums who seem aware of this issue; one of them, Erikislame, was previously active in a thread entitled "Can you erase single phone calls or SMS from the iphone?" and the other, judgement, only registered after the thread was started. Curious. Another poster suggests they may in fact be the same person; Susan's husband. Hmm.
As an aside, even if there was a buggy line of code that could somehow attach photos to an email and send it to specific individuals without prior knowledge, there is no application in the iPhone Store that forces people to get nekked. Or is there? If so, what else does it make them do? Surely the picture wasn't that revealing, was it Susan?
Well, if you must know ... it was a close-up shot of him pleasuring himself taken at the exact moment of maximum pleasure. (I'm trying to remain G-rated here.) It's such a good shot that one must wonder if he actually practiced it a few times before getting it right!
Ah. Susan says her discovery of the photo ends any doubt she has concerning the whispered phone conversations and anonymous texts she was already aware of, and that her attorney is already involved.
Next week, we reveal how a Blackberry bullied a middle-aged mother of two into sleeping with the entire first team of West Ham United. Twice.