Just £99 to ring Neville Southall for an hour? Yes please!

Screen Shot 2012-03-20 at 11.59.06 Got a spare £99 to spend? Into ‘niche’ telephone conversations? You’ll probably be interested in this then – an hour spent nattering away on the phone with ex-Everton and Wales goalkeeping legend Neville Southall.

That’s all it’ll cost you for 60 minutes of football-related chat with the great man, payable up front via PayPal. There’s some terms and conditions to consider – Nev will refuse to answer any questions that he deems to be ‘unsuitable or inappropriate’ and he won’t be held responsible for any injury or illness derived from any advice given. Spoilsport.

Also, all conversations must be conducted in English – which is a bit much for a bloke who’s got 92 Welsh caps. And if you can’t afford £99 or are nervous on the phone, you can have an email consultation with Southall for a mere £49, with a 72-hour-reply guaranteed.

We’re about to ring him and ask him who he thinks would win in a friendly match between robots and aliens.


  • Mary H.
    "So... Nev. How's things? Been Busy? Isn't the weather appalling at the moment?..."
  • Dick
    Is Gary Speed in heaven or hell?
  • Purity B.
    When is the right time to settle down?
  • Mr. P.
    What do you think of Englebert's song for Eurovision?
  • Capability B.
    What a whore.
  • Mike C.
    How many KFC double downs can you manage?
  • Martin
    Have you got any dieting tips?
  • Mike H.
    Congratulations, you have won a Caribean cruise. Enter your credit card number now...
  • Capability B.
    Are you wearing any underwear?
  • Bobby B.
    Cuntability, you sweaty gardner. Also, Neville Southall.
  • Alan
    Fancy a pint? Nah, me neither.
  • Mike H.
    "You remember that Neville Southhall? What a fat lazy cunt he was!..."

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