It's official - mobiles might or might not give you cancer

17 May 2010

Bitterwallet - mobile phones might or might not give you cancerAfter ten long years, and the habits of 13,000 users have been scrutinised, the World Health Organisation still isn't sure whether mobile phones can cause brain cancer. Props!

The British-based GSM Association, which represents international cell phone firms, said IARC's findings echoed "the large body of existing research and many expert reviews that consistently conclude that there is no established health risk".

In fact, data from the study showed mobile telephone users had a lower risk of brain cancer than people who had never used one, but the 21 scientists who conducted the study said this finding suggested problems with the method, or inaccurate information from those who took part, thus rendering ten years of their lives utterly meaningless. But they can't be sure, so they'll have to keep checking. Not to worry lads, the study only cost £16 million. Crack on.

Reuters also reports that European scientists last month launched what will become the biggest ever study into how mobile phones effect long-term health, by tracking at least a quarter of a million of people in five European countries for up to 30 years - by which time, all the people the initial research attempted to save in the first place will be pensioners. Congratulations science, you've done it again!

TOPICS:   Mobile

12 comments

  • Klingelton
    so, by the time the second bout of research concludes, the people from the 1st will all have died from testicular and head cancer and the tests will have been proved true.
  • Jamie W.
    I once caught testicular cancer off a fox, or at least thats what my mum told me.
  • captain s.
    Nice little article full of disdain towards aspects of science that you (Paul Smith) probably simply dont understand and never could hope to in a thousand years. Still, thats why you write for 'bitter wallet' and not Nature I'd imagine.
  • Nobby
    African ipods give you neck problems. http://attieheunis.files.wordpress.com/2005/12/african-ipod.jpg
  • raptorcigs b.
    @ captain (smug shithead)science fuck off or ill smash your face in
  • Wonky H.
    WTF IS DIS REAL?
  • Wonky H.
    Sorry....i mean I bum foxes.
  • captain s.
    No you wont. You didnt even bother to put an apostrophe in "I'll".
  • The B.
    What about mobile masts? Surely the output is massively increased from that of a phone? Can they not state categorically based on those who live near the masts?
  • Gadget 4.
    "In fact, data from the study showed mobile telephone users had a lower risk of brain cancer than people who had never used one, but the 21 scientists who conducted the study said this finding suggested problems with the method, or inaccurate information from those who took part" Surely that's a little biased? Perhaps mobile phones have a destructive effect on cancerous cells? I like how they rule this possibility out completely despite what the evidence says!
  • dunfyboy
    Will they come out and say they're definitely safe rather than "there is no established health risk”? No didn't think so.
  • Jack
    Could this possibly be EU funded? Sounds like it.

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