Hate iPhones? Noel Edmonds gives you a reason to love them

We know, you're sick beyond the back teeth of Apple, iPhones and apps, but even the staunchest of critics will allow this exception. In fact, to pacify you further, we're not even going to dribble on with an opening paragraph and just let the pictures tell the story:

Bitterwallet - at last! Noel Edmonds iPhone app!

Bitterwallet - cosmic ordering

We were disappointed to discover the app had nothing whatsoever to do with New Order, despite the titles. And if it all looks suspiciously like a half-arsed to-do list wrapped up in a lot of cosmic bollocks, that's because it pretty much is. But with a beard. Don't all rush at once.


  • Anders
    I'm amazed Noel Edmonds gave his consent to this...
  • C
    The cunt wants you to pay for it! Fuck me.
  • Tom P.
    Deal or No Deal? F*ck that, i'd rather hang onto my £1.19.
  • My P.
    No Deal!
  • TFEB
    I'd rather sit on a pineapple than spend money on this app!
    I wanna have sex with Noel Edmonds. I'm a giver.
  • Brian
    Hi Brian here. I'd like to donate a helicopter to Mr Edmonds...hope he's IN IT this time.
  • Bogbrush
    Oooh. Bad karma, guys.
  • Neil
    Have you ever thought about saying what the app actually does dickhead?
  • Amanda H.
    It does three things. 1) It reduces your bank account. 2) It uses up space on your iphone 3) Somewhere in the world, a kitten dies.

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