Glastonbury Festival to have own 4G to maximise annoyance

Some idiot at an idiot music festival with loads of other idiots The gits at Glastonbury will be getting their usual blanket coverage on the BBC this year, like an alternative Royal Wedding - of interest to only a few, but shoved down everyone's craw like it's a worthy event.

And now, to maximise the omnipresent nature of the event, Glastonbury's organisers have announced that EE will provide a special 4G network on site at this year’s festival.

That means all the posh white kids in attendance will be able to tweet constantly through the weekend, appearing on everyone's feeds, talking about having 'experiences' and gushing with praise about some dreadful group of herberts in waistcoats playing on a stage call Hector Wizard's Banana Vibez Plantation or something.

This is under the assumption that the signal actually holds up with all those glamping weasels jamming up the network with Instagram pictures of themselves and pals posing in front of a Stonehenge made from old cars.

There's no point hoping that their phones will run out of juice, because EE have that covered as well, saying that they've released an EE Festival Power Bar. Buy that before 9th June and you'll have a portable charger to keep your phone topped up with power. When that dies, go to the on-site EE tent and swap it for a new one.

EE Brand Director Spencer McHugh said of all this: “Last year we saw a huge increase in photo and video uploads on our network at Glastonbury as people shared their magical festival moments from across the site. By providing superfast 4G at the festival alongside the launch of our new charging solution, the EE Festival Power Bar, we will make sure all those at the UK’s best-loved festival can stay connected and share content more easily and quicker than ever before”.


  • Alistair B.
    They had 4G last year as well and it held up very well. I recorded a Beady Eye song at 11.30am and all 850Mb had uploaded to YouTube by 12.01pm. I didn't spot the email from The Daily Mail asking for permission to use it until they had already done so and a friend had texted us to say she had seen my girlfriend on the video during her lunch break browsing session.
  • annoyamouse
    Fuck you guy, Hector Wizard’s Banana Vibez Plantation are amazing live.
  • Billybobjimbob
    Next year the BBC will extend compulsory Glastonbury saturation coverage to enforce live feeds of mime, The Guardian, and Mumford & Sons, straight into your cortex.

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