As we revealed at 9am, Apple are exploring the idea that an iPhone could theoretically replace your old-fashioned set of keys.

Well, now it’s 9.30am and that idea seems like so much tired old hat, thanks to Microsoft and a man called Chris Harrison. Harrison made over 300 appearances for Plymouth Argyle during the 1970s and 1980s* but now, as this video shows, he is an electronic pioneer.

He’s the man that will help us to control our mobile phones, entertainment devices and game-playing gizmos using our… OWN SKIN!

As this video demonstrates, tapping the skin on different parts of your arm creates a series of different sounds. When those sounds are picked up by a gadget that straps on to your arm, they are then translated into instructions that will control your phone or mp3 player or help you become a Tetris champion. Cleverly, they're calling it 'Skinput.'

Some questions arise. How do the menus appear on your arm? We don’t know – probably lasers. What do you do if you live in a freezing cold country like Britain? We don’t know – but we’re sure that the boffins will find a way around that. If you exercise your forearm and make it bigger and stronger, will that make your mp3 player have a larger capacity? No, don’t be so ridiculous.

It’s early on a Monday morning and Bitterwallet has already given you a vision of the future on a plate. Now stop scratching your arse and go and get some work done so we can all get there quicker.

*Possibly not the same Chris Harrison.