Everything Everywhere plan 'new creative concept in communications retailing'
Everything Everywhere, the thing you get when you mix Orange and T-Mobile networks in a conceptual pot, are going to open five "new creative concept in communications retailing".
You might know them as 'shops'.
These bullshit factories will sell contracts and phones as well as providing free mobile charging and Wi-Fi to all and sundry. Of course, anyone idly wandering in will be pounced upon by highly trained staff, all desperate for a sale.
It won't just be some squirt with a crap haircut, reeking of Hugo Boss and Lynx Africa trying to flog you stuff. There'll also be "an interactive video screen" so the staff can focus on maintaining the "Unique interactive 'inspire, excite and educate' experience created to engage consumers".
These berks are saying 'Hey guys! It's not just for Everything Everywhere customers! Gosh no! All are welcome! Why don't you just come hang out with us guys? We're really cool! Hey! Is that The Florence and the Roundabout you're listening to? I love those guys!'
Altrincham will be the town unlucky enough to have the first store foisted upon it on 18th February. Places called Bishops Stortford, Eltham, Lowestoft and Evesham will have these conceptual wank bubbles opening up the following month.