Destroying civilisation as we know it – there’s a hack for that.

Here’s today’s Apple news. Jailbreak your iPhone and Apple reckon you’re opening the floodgates to cyber-attacking hackers, drug dealers, rampaging crackheads, illegal immigrants, headshrinkers, shapeshifters, gay wizards, The Swine Flu, Lloyd Cole & The Commotions, OJ Simpson, the handlebar mustache, another musical by Eric Idle and the abolition of the fifth gear in the motor car.

Actually, it’s just the cyber-attacking hackers and drug dealers but such is the rabid, random and paranoid madness that fills Apple’s latest statement on jailbreaking that you’d think using easily-found software to make your phone better was akin to opening Pandora’s Box.

Bunch of pricks.


  • Pure-Klenz
    Old News
  • Nobby
    You missed terrorists off the list.
  • Lumoruk
    Luckily Nokia have released no such statement for unlocking the Symbian operating system, ahhh homebrew software without the shitty certificate crap it's heaven.
  • Norbert K.
    Thought terrorists gave you cancer? I'm sure I read it in the Daily Mail.....
  • A. r.
    I agree with the abolition of Fifth Gear, Tiff Needell is a squinting wanker, and Vicky Butler Henderson is fit, but you know you're never going to get to shag the tits off her in the back of a Capri.
  • Pure-Klenz
    No they give you gaids
  • Mike U.
    No, if you believe the media, they will come round while ur in the pub, fuck ur wife who will then go on to produce home grown terrorists for future generations
  • Rubisco
    How come Microsoft get hauled over the coals by the EU for including IE for free bundled with Windows, yet Apple are apparantly allowed to enforce a monopoly on software sales for the iPhone? Why are there different rules for hardware than there is for software? Ridiculous.
  • facebook h.
    Hey This is good info, am impressed... great story man

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