App Store, Crap Store - new ways to waste time on your iPhone
There are now over 25,000 applications on the iPhone, and while most of them are as useful as chip pan fat for whores, there are a few that stand out. If the developers themselves don't release a demo on YouTube, you can always rely on somebody else to do it for them. With that in mind, here's a sift through some of the hundreds of apps released recently. Some are good, some are shit, frankly:
iBone - the Pocket Trombone (£1.79)
No, stop it right now, it's not that sort of app. It's a virtual trombone that allows you to accompany songs with a flick and slide of your finger, or by blowing across your iPhone. Judging by the interface you need to know something about music to put it to good use, but there are also scales you can practise if you'd like to learn.
Make Money Online (£2.39)
"My name is Sven Schöne and listen. I live in this dump and wear sweatbands like it's 1987, but I don't care. What you say? Listen. Look at Oogle, it's full of free resources. Scams. I want to show you this programme called Make Money Online. All it takes is a small investment from you, I give you a list of bookmarks you could find by using your eyes, but then I could not get rich, yeah? My company is called iJokeEntertainment, but I am serious, yeah? It took me one and a half years to put this together, even though the App Store has been around just nine months, yeah?"
Tap Tap Coldplay(£2.99)
Tap Tap Revenge is often cited as one of the best and most popular applications for the iPhone. Well now they've gone and spoilt it by releasing a version dedicated to the descending star of Coldplay. And they're charging you £2.99 for the pleasure. Good on them. At least we have the nasal, bedroom-bound tones of reviewer NJ Devil Fan to stop us topping ourselves while our ears scab over in disgust. Oh.