Commercial Break: Santa in pathetic weather-search iPhone scum-fest
We’re all agreed that Santa Claus is a magical man. For centuries now, he’s been delivering presents to boys and girls around the world on Christmas Day with the help of nothing more than some elves, a few weird horses and a big sledge. Every year, without fail (apart from 1981, when the idiot somehow brought your correspondent a pair of West Ham pyjamas) – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
So why in the name of Satan would Santa want to tool himself up (with the emphasis on ‘tool’) with an iPhone 4S and its hugely overrated Siri function? Short answer – he wouldn’t. With that in mind, if Apple could stop co-opting the dreams of children into their shitty advertising, that would be tremendous thank you very much. Smugness doesn’t suit Saint Nick so away and piss off with it all.