Be-bopping LloydsTSB get on board the groovy text train - but it'll cost ya!

Like some failing uncle with a Facebook account, LloydsTSB is getting down with the modern kids by implementing a groovy new way of banking… the ‘balance on demand’ text update. Cool! They’ll be doing the Moonwalk next, eh readers?

The new scheme enables the customer to find out how much moolah they’ve got in their account at any time of the day or night via their mobile. But (and we’d love it if for once there wasn’t a ‘but’) in order to use the service, most customers will have to sign up for Lloyds' mobile banking service. That costs £2.50 per month, although they do offer some accounts that include it at as part of the package. Ones that cost more than £2.50 a month we’d expect.

Also, smiling assassins Lloyds have said that mobile phone operators may charge for the cost of the text requesting the balance. Wonder if they do a special text that shows you how much has spilled out of your account as a result of trying to find out your balance.

LloydsTSB are billing balance on demand as a fab new service, but if they and other banks were genuinely keen on delivering a ‘service’ they’d text you every time your balance veered dangerously towards zero or its overdraft limit, giving you a chance to rectify matters before you got hit with an excessive or unlawful penalty charge. Instead of dreaming up crappy new ways to felch a few more quid out of us all.

Banks. Howling shits, the lot of them.



  • MrRobin
    It's free for customers with the Premier account which costs.... £25 a month! That's only £300 a year boys a girls, what a bargain! Clowns.
  • Bill B.
    Not news. They've been doing free weekly balance alert texts, overseas transaction alerts and the like for ages. And like you suggest, that £2.50/mth service includes "near to overdraft" and "near to zero" texts.
  • Duke
    That's a calculator, not a phone.
  • Elias
    Certain banks already DO text you when you're nearing your limit or zero - First Direct, HSBC and RBS being some of the ones I can think of off the top of my head. First Direct will do it for free too. As for Lloyds being cockmonkeys, I'd rather suggest looking at their £10 a month "Control" package, which bounces payments if they'd take you over your limit. You know, just like a Basic Bank Account from them (or Barclays, or the Co-Op) would do. For free. Not a tenner a month. Free. Bellends.
  • Whitefiver
    Whilst I don't disagree with the main thrust of your article, Lloyds do offer free text of a mini-statement once a week, which I find very useful. Not on demand, I know, but better than nothing. You also get a free alert if your card is used overseas - potentially a very useful safeguard. Just my opinion, of course, Regards, White
  • Ian
    They also block large transactions and then don't bother telling you (it was only buy chance I re-confirmed some flights I booked and found out the booking was cancelled). And they also block your debit and credit cards abroad after 1 transaction, and again, don't bother telling you. Fagburgers.
  • Me
    I with Lloydstsb and I can get this for free - Its called mobile internet on your mobile! (And yes I do have an unlimited browsing on my mobile contract).
  • V L.
    another crap blog by mr dawson
  • Duaine D.
    I like Dawson's articles. Vince Wong fucks me off though
  • Tom P.
    Posted by Duaine Dangerous | July 2nd, 2009 at 3:34 pm "I like Dawson’s articles. Vince Wong fucks me off though" Vince will give you an ugglier face than you've already got dude
  • Anonymous
    This service was included in my £5/month Business account - credit crunch got me though :-(
  • Annembeby
    Hey City Folk Can't get that much time off this year. So, I am looking for family attractions, close to the city. Using the New England Road Trip Planner Turns out I get Boston Tourist Attractions . Going the other direction, a visit to the Eastern Pennsylvania Tourist Attractions might do the trick. Need some advice. Good day.
  • boraplasp
    Hello I’m new here. I am sorry if this is the wrong place for this post. My name is Ren I am from France
  • KeycleLyperve
    Whats up everyone. .... I just love the environment here. . Is it hard to become a mod here? I like this site

What do you think?

Your comment