Apple are trying to corrupt your children

14 March 2013

It’s not enough that Apple Inc, can display an alleged complete disregard for employees in far flung countries, nor that they attempt to take over the world by taking all your money, but never actually selling you anything digital. Now, they are attempting to corrupt your children through the appstore.

Happy Street is a cute little game on the iPhone and iPad. It is a free game (although there are plenty of in-app purchase opportunities to allow continuous play) and invites you to build a colourful world with cute cartoon characters, who chat and interact with one another and with other users around the world. It looks fun and friendly and something you might let your children play (once in-app purchases are switched off, naturally). And with an age rating of 4+, why on Earth wouldn’t you let the cheeky little’uns have a go?

Well, possibly because the game features language that really isn’t suitable for their delicate minds. What 4 year old could possibly be pleased to learn that their juice “tastes like young virgins just mushed it with their feet”? Or worse, watch a male character threaten a female one saying “by the fist of man I will make you”.  iPorn and iPunch for minors.

But of course, Apple have nothing at all to do with this children-corrupting game, and that is what they (just about) managed to convey to avid Bitterwallet reader Steve, in their broken-English response to his complaint, telling him to go speak to the game developer. No, Apple have no responsibility on this issue, despite the game having been through Apple's  ‘stringent’ approval process, Apple giving it a 4+ rating and Apple naming it in the top 6 ‘free to play’ games for iPhone in the Appstore’s “Best Apps of 2012.”

We did ask Apple for a comment, but they were too busy swivelling in their chairs, drinking virgin-crushed juice and punching women to respond. Allegedly.


  • mikeypop
    Same App is available on Google Play for Android devices...I'm assuming you've done the necessary research to make sure these offensive phrases only appear in the iOS version?
  • Andy
    Mikey, Sam is far too desperate for attention to care about details like that - showing what a tragic pauper he/she really is.
  • Dick
    It is not necessarily punching. They only mention a fist.
  • mattymattmattmattington
    @Dick, merely fisting women?
  • Fat H.
    @mikeypop Apple users are used to being fisted with the price of the products.
  • boomish
    blimey, your not biased in anyway are you Sam lol I surly won't be coming to this site for good advice..worst piece of tosh I've ever read and I own an Android phone and have kids! you guys are what fuel this whole Apple V Andoid crapola
  • chewbacca
    tl;dr? Sam doesn't like fisting.
  • Yog S.
    Are cunts still using Apple products?

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