Wooden stake found in Morrisons food
Emma Thomas opened a bag of Morrisons frozen veg, and must've thought she was being attacked by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as instead of finding food, she found what looks like a wooden stake.
Or maybe this is a bit of the handle from the axe that Morrisons took to 900 people's jobs? We just don't know. Either way, you shouldn't be finding lumps of wood in your tea.
Do feel free to add your own 'stake and chips' joke here, though.
For scale, here is the offending bit of wood next to a tub of sunflower spread.
Emma has contacted Morrisons to find out what the bloody hell is going on and, of course, they've said they'll look into it, while asking for the bag to be returned to a store, where she should get a refund.
If not, we hope that said stake gets driven into the chest of the duty manager.