Wine to be become more expensive thanks to stupid grape vendors

It has all got a bit much

Wine (hashish for Tories) is about to get more expensive, which is terrible news for people who prefer boozing to talking about their stifling, miserable, lonely lives. A bottle of plonk could be a whole quid dearer in the new year, thanks to a poor harvest of grapes this summer.

This means, those of you who went for the second cheapest wine, could be begrudgingly spending something in the region of the wines you once refuted for being slightly too pricey.

Those hardest hit were the Argentinians, as well as the French and the Italians. It seems the lousy weather was too wet for decent wine grapes, to the point where the International Organisation of Vine and Wine noted that global production was at its lowest in over 30 years!

This will lead us to an average price of £6 per bottle.

"I would expect to see significant price inflation at entry price points,' said Majestic Wine boss Steve Lewis. "The price of a bottle of pinot grigio could go up by between 50p and £1 come February/March."

Fill your boots this Christmas and New Year because, in 2013, we'll all be downing cans of Ace and trying to get pissed on Wine Gums.


  • badger
    Turbo cider is the way forward.
  • Kevin
    Or don't drink wine?
  • Chewbacca
    As usual, the middle classes get squeezed. The fucking scum drinking their Tennents Super remain unaffected. Cunts.
  • badger
    So a good opportunity for the Australians, Bulgarians, Chileans and everybody NOT affected to grab market share? Or will their prices mysteriously increase too?
  • Englebert.Humperdinck
    @ Chewbacca - whether you drink Tennants or the finest wine on a daily basis doesnt matter, the end point is still the same. I find it truly odd how its considered socially acceptable to drink wine regularly or even daily yet people mock those that drink lager/cider etc. Lower/Middle/Upper - a drink problem is a drink problem, the lower classes just don't pretend otherwise Personally I think it all tastes like vinegary piss anyway. Give me a nice brew anyday! Teetotal FTW
  • w0nKeY H.
    Oh noses....what will I do if they start taxing the wine! It's nice to be back home btw, I love it here, and do have a soft spot for Andrew.
  • w0nKeY H.
    Yes, I know they aren't taxing the wine as such, it's just getting more expensive, but give me a break, I'm still pissed from the weekend, and have given up the wildlife bothering.
  • Spencer
    and there was me - foolishly thinking that wines need to be left for at least a year or so - to mature and clarify... and remove all the unpleasant flavours. it would stand to reason that any wine purchased in January next year probably came from grapes grown in 2011 or earlier.... and as badger first posted.... Turbo cider is where it's at. homebrew is by far the cheapest way to get sloshed. 5 cartons of value apple juice £3... a pack of cider or champagne yeast £1 ... a bag of sugar to increase final alcohol... £1. along with some empty plastic bottles and watered down bleach for sterilizing... that is literally it...
  • Spencer
    if you can make cheese on toast... you can brew 7-8% abv cider... five quid... 5 litres... that's equivalent to 50p a can. plus you can run several batches and re-use the same yeast and sugar bag.
  • Lord F.
    Just make sure one gets the butler to stock up the cellar while the going is good
  • Tom
    @Lord Foffington A butler does not order food, the domestic staff manager does that.
  • Monkey T.
    @ Spencer. Right, I've got my cheese, I've got my toast. Now how do I make them into 7-8% abv cider? And will it taste all cheesy?
  • Sicknote
    In real terms the cost of quality wine hasn't budged very much - you'll find that the cheap piss that Brits are all too fond of will be affected by this.
  • Spencer
    @monkey tennis.... I put up two posts... one detailing what's needed and how.... it's awaiting moderation for what seems to be... absolutely no reason whatsoever... apple juice... half bag of sugar and a sachet of cider yeast. all in... maybe five quid? serious... it is so simple....
  • Spencer
    I also made the comment... wine is normally left for at least a year or so to mature and clarify and age. so the poor grape harvest this year won't affect wine production till 2014...yet prices go up in a few weeks.... go figure...
  • Lord F.
    @Tom Despite seeing wine as an essential I wouldn't quite classify it as 'food', beside our staff manager has a horrific penchant for Australian Shiraz - bladdy awful stuff!
  • barrymate
    @spencer you sound like a proper alky pov. did you learn your bootlegging skills in prison?
  • Spencer
    on the contrary... just got fed up of the ever increasing cost of drinks. especially when the production cost of around 10p a pint hasn't really changed.... so I did something about it. I learnt the fine art of brewing and after a couple of years... I make better and cheaper booze than you can buy. don't get me wrong... my first batch was like prison-strength hooch and was just awful... but now... :-)
  • Spencer
    it honestly is so simple. Add apple juice, sugar and yeast to a clean empty bottle. wait. drink. don't get me wrong - it can get far more complicated than this if you want... but in essence... plus there's something satisfying about it... you feel you've crafted and made something... and you save a fair bit too...

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