Where Would Jesus Shop?
Jesus Christ Our Lord was a good bloke to know if you liked a bargain. I mean, in his feeding of the multitude he showed just how far you can stretch five loaves and a couple of fish. Thousands were fed on what equates in new money as bugger-all.
However, if the (often suspiciously white) Jesus was around today, where would he get his Blackpool Milk Roll and tins of cat food from? It's a question that has been bugging religious clerics for some time now.
Well, the Bishop of Reading reckons that the Son of God would not have been middle class like most people think Anglican Churchies are.
“How have we become known as just the Marks & Spencer option,” he asked, “when in our heart of hearts we know that Jesus would just as likely be in the queue at Asda or Aldi?”
So there you have it. Jesus would have shopped at Aldi. Jesus likes a bargain. And rubbish frozen pizzas where the cheese product slides off in one piece.
This poses another question though? Where would the rest of the deities shop? Presumably, Buddha wouldn't ever do a proper shop because he's a bloke who clearly survives on junk food and Wham bars (look at his guts!). Krishna, what with him being bright blue, is probably stuck down the freezer section of Farmfoods and Mohammed... well... I wouldn't like to guess for fear of upsetting someone (B&M Bargains).