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Where Would Jesus Shop?

30 September 2009
By Mof Gimmers

jesus_christJesus Christ Our Lord was a good bloke to know if you liked a bargain. I mean, in his feeding of the multitude he showed just how far you can stretch five loaves and a couple of fish. Thousands were fed on what equates in new money as bugger-all.

However, if the (often suspiciously white) Jesus was around today, where would he get his Blackpool Milk Roll and tins of cat food from? It's a question that has been bugging religious clerics for some time now.

Well, the Bishop of Reading reckons that the Son of God would not have been middle class like most people think Anglican Churchies are.

“How have we become known as just the Marks & Spencer option,” he asked, “when in our heart of hearts we know that Jesus would just as likely be in the queue at Asda or Aldi?”

So there you have it. Jesus would have shopped at Aldi. Jesus likes a bargain. And rubbish frozen pizzas where the cheese product slides off in one piece.

aldi

This poses another question though? Where would the rest of the deities shop? Presumably, Buddha wouldn't ever do a proper shop because he's a bloke who clearly survives on junk food and Wham bars (look at his guts!). Krishna, what with him being bright blue, is probably stuck down the freezer section of Farmfoods and Mohammed... well... I wouldn't like to guess for fear of upsetting someone (B&M Bargains).

[via Metro]

TOPICS:   High Street News   Supermarket

20 comments

  • Oh
    Well i'm glad that question is cleared up, thanks....
    Reply ·
  • NobbyB
    He didn't shop. His disciples shopped and he ponced the food off them. John 4.8.
    Reply ·
  • applesux
    Come on Mof, I read about that on last week newspapers. Well, at least is not another Apple article.
    Reply ·
  • Norks
    Who the hells Moff Gimmers!?
    Reply ·
  • The B.
    Anne Summers?
    Reply ·
  • TVDBP
    Man alive, what kind of name is Mof Gimmers? You got bullied at school didn't you sir? I haven't laughed this much since I read Ben Dirs live text commentary on bbc.co.uk
    Reply ·
  • Tom P.
    Katherine Jenkins seems to have her lovely assets well covered.
    Reply ·
  • Gunn
    I like how the bishop is kinda saying Asda and Aldi are the same type of store, and I think he has a point. Asda is now a large Aldi.
    Reply ·
  • NobbyB
    Loss: Sven and Steve. What is that about? Credibility?
    Reply ·
  • NobbyB
    PS. I know it is about Bobby Robson.
    Reply ·
  • AJ
    Jesus's dad was a carpenter. A skilled tradesman in a world of subsistence farmers? Jesus would probably call shopping at M&S "slumming".
    Reply ·
  • Jeffrey A.
    lol @ Mohammeds shopping in B&M Bargains.
    Reply ·
  • Haleema
    Yeah,the whole thing about b&m bargains? I guess It Is funny.
    Reply ·
  • pauski
    Wonder where they would go for a clothes shop?
    Reply ·
  • zeddy
    Jesus thinks it's a miracle the way Asda can sell 2 litres of milk for 50p.
    Reply ·
  • Junkyard
    "It’s a question that has been bugging religious clerics for some time now." Whereas all of the atheist clerics couldn't give a toss.
    Reply ·
  • Mike U.
    He would've shopped at the CO-OP, their more ethical that other supermarkets
    Reply ·
  • jonny p.
    NO he would have shopped with morrisons
    Reply ·
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    Reply ·
  • parc r.
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    Reply ·

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