Wetherspoons trade Red Bull for cheaper brand - everyone falls out
Wetherspoons and Red Bull are at each others throats, scratching and clawing and yanking out hair extensions with Red Bull wailing "WHAT HAS SHE GOT THAT I HAVEN'T?!"
You see, Wetherspoon's pubs have replaced Red Bull with a very similar drink called Monster. Red Bull's national account manager, Gordon Yule is fuming and has apparently accused Wetherspoon of attempting to pass off Monster as his company's product.
To briefly touch upon the girl analogy again, you can only assume that Monster is dirtier than Red Bull and will pretty much do anything you suggest. Or something.
Anyway, Wetherspoon chairman Tim Martin is refuting the claim and getting personal. He sent a strongly worded letter to Red Bull managing director Nigel Trood saying that Yule's accusation is 'exceptionally difficult to believe', as Monster is heavily advertised in Wetherspoon pubs. I went in one last week... and he's telling the truth. It's bloody everywhere.
However, he hasn't stopped there. Martin alleges that the Red Bull team have not been playing fair and arranging 'childish stunts'. Like what?
Well, apparently Red Bull have been parking their ubiquitous branded motor heaps outside Wetherspoon pubs as well as sending their own staff into chains as customers and getting them to complain when they can't buy Red Bull. Not by complaining at the bar, but rather, (and this is from a Red Bull document as seen here) to get 'wing girls' to smuggle cans in and consume them on site because they 'hate' Monster so much.
Wetherspoon's Tim Martin added: "It really is time for Red Bull to grow up and stop behaving like a rejected teenager and accept that our relationship is over."
The real question is: does anyone even remotely care about which foul tasting energy drink they get mixed in with their cheapo booze? Would you accept Monster over Red Bull? Do you puke at the thought of either drink? Or is there any situation where the knock-off brand is an improvement than the real thing - Cresta lemonade versus Schweppes for example. Go on, leave a pithy comment - we thrive on them.