Waitrose has gone in a sulk with Ocado

23 May 2013

Since Ocado did a dirty deal with Morrisons behind Waitrose’s back, Waitrose boss Mark Price is refusing to speak to them. He may even stay in his bedroom for the whole day, apart from to go to the toilet and get a bowl of cornflakes from the kitchen.

Waitrose Managing Director Mark Price attends the Reuters Consumer and Retail Summit in London

Sulky Ronnie Barker lookalike Mark hasn’t replied to any emails or calls made by Ocado’s CEO Tim Steiner. ‘It’s a joke,’ said Tim, who tied up the deal with Morrisons last week. ‘Ocado has gone from a toddler to an unruly teenager. Now we are an adult,' said Steiner. 'Sometimes the parent doesn’t like it when the child grows up.’

Waitrose just turned up its System of A Down album and slammed the door, saying that they have to consult their lawyers on the matter. They warned that they would be studying the Morrison’s deal carefully to see if there had been a breach of contract. Until that was completed, they wouldn’t contact Ocado or meet up with them in the skate park – I mean, boardroom.

Steiner says that the deal will be good for Waitrose because it means the company will finally be financially secure, but he also thinks that Waitrose has been shaken by the tie up with Morrisons.

On Wednesday, Waitrose said they WOULD meet Ocado, but only if it promised to bring Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 and stop going on about how great Morrisons is. Let’s hope these two sort it out before an adult gets involved.


  • blighty
    who cares ?
  • Mike O.
    They are "incommunOcado" are they. Ho ho ho, Im funny.
  • Strawbear
    Should a metaphor go on this long? Not if it wants to be funny and effective.
  • Sicknote
    Why do people confuse Ocado with Waitrose....? I get my groceries delivered twice weekly by Waitrose and the lovely young brings all the bags into the kitchen for my busty blonde missus; compare that to Ocado when some fucking shaved orang-utan would launch goodies from the back his van in the direction of the front door. IMHO Morrisons and Ocado deserve each other, both scumbag merchants.

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