The wonder of shopping on Amazon, part 284
You can find all sorts of great stuff on Amazon if you look hard enough. There's cheap music, great offers on DVDs and, better still, bottles of wolf piss.
You'll know how invaluable a product like this is if you have ever tried to extract the urine from a live wolf. It really is a treacherous business. Apparently, you use this to give the illusion of predators being present and, also, you might get chatted up by a cartoon wolf with his eyes on stalks. Who knows? 32oz sets you back $30.
If frightening someone by smelling like a drunk lupine isn't enough, then perhaps you'd like to buy some Uranium ore? It's all very well frightening a deer, but what about entire countries? Buy enough of this under various aliases and you could find yourself with that secret lair in a volcano before you know it! Put a dollop on your skin and you may well get wings or some ace super-power as well.
If you're more into the joys of new-life, as opposed to eradicating absolutely everything on Earth, then maybe you'd be interested in buying a foetus in a uterus? Sadly, it isn't the real thing, but you sure could have a hoot with the neighbours. Watch their little faces screw up in horror as you and your partner bat an unborn child around with the badminton set you bought last summer. Warning - don't try this prank out if you live next to a pro-lifer or they could very well kick you to death before waiting for an explanation.
If the neighbours end up giving you trouble, then buy this bag of bones and bury them in their yard before ringing the police. Watch their little heads turn pink with fury as they're tazered and thrown in jail as cold-blooded killers!