The Death of the High Street - Season 12, Episode 87
It’s high street doom and gloom time AGAIN! Putting another nail in its TX Maxx shaped coffin today is The Centre for Economics and Business Research, who say that consumer spending will grow ‘at a snail’s pace’ in the next six years. A snail’s pace, in case you'd prefer that in percentage form, is a predicted growth rate of just 1.8% until 2018.
They predict that families will tighten their belts rather than splurging all their wages on Xboxes, H&M hotpants and One Direction merchandise. Arse-aching Government austerity and the financial crisis means there’ll be more joyless saving and making do in the years to come, as households struggle on for no good reason. That’s six years of darning socks and eating powdered egg while the rich drink foie gras cocktails from a hollowed-out unicorn horn.
CEBR's head of macroeconomics Charles Davis said: "Households have had to get used to living within their means as they have been buffeted by the financial crisis, weak economic growth, fiscal tightening and high inflation.We think consumer spending will rise only slowly and a sustained recovery will be unable to rely on consumption.’
Why don’t we just demolish the high street and give up on the idea of ever being able to afford anything nice again? Just replace it with a massive Job Centre and a cut-price offy?
Sod it. Let’s all just go crazy and put 2 thousand quid’s worth of John Lewis patio furniture on our credit cards and then declare ourselves bankrupt. It’d be more fun than this.