Tesco announce rocketing profits and laugh in the face of the ash cloud
That’s a recession-battering increase of 10 per cent on the previous 12 months and in case you thought Tesco planned to greedily hog all the cash for themselves, they’ve announced that they’ll be creating 16,000 new jobs in the coming year, with 9,000 of them in the UK. Hallelujah!
If that wasn’t enough, Tesco head honcho Sir Terry Leahy has proudly boasted that no goddamn stinking ash cloud is going to stop him from raking in the cash while serving his customers. He claims that only 1% of Tesco’s produce is flown through the currently-clogged skies and that flowers and fruit sourced from Kenya will continue to come over land.
He said: “We have helped Kenyan farmers by allowing them to send flowers and fruit to Spain, and collecting there.” The goods are collected from Spain and then transported on to the UK by truck, allowing the Kenyans to continue to receive the top dollar that we’re CERTAIN Tesco pay them for their efforts.
Hooray for Tesco! Isn’t it? Well…?