SABMiller's dreadful beer results in weak profits

21 January 2014

beer SABMiller - the people responsible for making some of your favourite beers much weaker, have reported disappointing third-quarter sales, which has sent their share value tumbling.

The maker of beers such as Peroni and Grolsch have been fiddling with their lagers and, as a result, everyone's been buying other booze. "SABMiller's Q3 trading statement was beneath market expectations at lager volume level, despite some useful emerging markets volume growth," said analysts at Oriel Securities. "Moreover, reported earnings remain under pressure from currency headwinds."

See, the company think that people aren't buying their beers because of price increases and the depreciation of currencies against the U.S. dollar. However, what is blatantly obvious to anyone with a mouth to drink with and a life worth forgetting through drink, their beer is simply not worth buying because you may as well try and get drunk on wine gums.

In Europe, Australia and North America particularly, SABMiller is 'plagued by weak consumer sentiment'.

With the biggest variety in lagers and ales on the shelves we've had in yonks, SABMiller's sales are surely heavily reliant on teenagers and stuff in the sale bins. Until they start giving their booze a punch again, they can assume that sales will continue to dwindle.

1 comment

  • JJ
    Which beers have they reduced the ABV of exactly?

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