Revolution Warning: Greggs may raise prices
This is a public warning that there may be rioting and revolution in the North.
Pasty-makers, Greggs, have sent out a message which could see Northerners out on the streets, pillaging and looting and demanding governmental reform. They may well stick some heads on spikes if things continue in this fashion. You see, Greggs have spoken about the rising wheat prices which will contribute to tougher trading conditions in the coming months.
Ingredient costs would rise after the price of wheat hit a 22-month high last week, with wildfires in Russia devastating crops. This of course, could see the price of cheese and ham slices increasing, as well as the staple meat and potato pastie.
The loss of these in our Northern communities (all the Bitterwallet writers at present are Northern) could see the glue of security evaporate and obeying the law would fade into memory as angered men and women kick policemen to death with frustration. The police have been put on alert and are apparently sending the word to the London Met to be on standby for back-up.
The BBC report that the company continues to do well financially and hopes to open 50 more shops this year. This is, of course, a stark warning to our Southern cousins. You have Greggs popping up in your towns. Don't get addicted like we did.
Rioting has already broken out in Oswaldtwistle in Lancashire where a man called Greg was beaten to death with his own limbs, which locals tore off and eventually used in a makeshift communal pastie, not unlike a steak-bake.
We'll keep you up to speed.