Organic food sales slump as poor people resort to eating filth
As millions of people reject organic broccoli for other broccoli that tastes the same but costs less, organic products are being left on the shelf like a plain girl called Joan at a school dance.
Unsurprisingly, sales of organic products are being affected by the recession, leading to a 1.5% fall from last year – which continues their slow fall from grace. (Sales were down by 3.7% the year before).
In their annual report, The Soil Association also blames supermarkets for not bigging up organic products enough. Despite Bumfords with straw hats and acoustic guitars accounting for 16% of all sales, it’s a far cry from those heady days of 2008, when we were wallowing in baths of beetroot juice and hemp flavoured sausages, and spending £2.1bn on organic products.
However things aren’t all doom and gloom for organic farmers. Specialist retailers and online businesses are going strong with Ocado increasing their organic produce by 6.4%. In news that will shock nobody, most of these sales are concentrated in London, amongst people called Sebastian who bake their own black olive and sumac rolls.
Back in the real world, it just goes to show that when our pockets are practically empty, most people don’t give a monkey’s - 10p pickled onion Space Raiders will do just fine, ta.