Oh no! Tesco aren't doing very well
We’re all used to hearing about Tesco’s myriad attempts to take over the world – leaving the high street’s bakeries and red-faced local butchers in ruins. So it’s with a snort of barely suppressed joy to learn that the supermarket has just announced its first drop in profits for 20 years.
It’s largely due to the dismal failure of Tesco’s US venture ‘Fresh & Easy’, which has been bombing since its launch in 2005. (Maybe they should have changed the name to ‘Nice ‘n’ Lardy’?). Plus, out of all the supermarkets, Tesco were hit hardest by the horsemeat scandal. They’re also paying money out to upgrade UK stores, which are suffering a slump in sales.
Overall, profits have plummeted 8% to £2.3 billion. It’s saddy times for Tesco demi god
Terry Leahy Philip Clarke, who might have to dig deep and send his new Diamonique cuff links back to the shop.
Perhaps we could all club together to buy him some reduced Cornish pasties of indeterminate origin and a week’s supply of marrowfat peas- just until he’s back on his feet?
After all, every little helps.