Oh no! Tesco aren't doing very well

We’re all used to hearing about Tesco’s myriad attempts to take over the world – leaving the high street’s bakeries and red-faced local butchers in ruins. So it’s with a snort of barely suppressed joy to learn that the supermarket has just announced its first drop in profits for 20 years.

tesco bag

It’s largely due to the dismal failure of Tesco’s US venture ‘Fresh & Easy’, which has been bombing since its launch in 2005. (Maybe they should have changed the name to ‘Nice ‘n’ Lardy’?). Plus, out of all the supermarkets, Tesco were hit hardest by the horsemeat scandal. They’re also paying money out to upgrade UK stores, which are suffering a slump in sales.

Overall, profits have plummeted 8% to £2.3 billion. It’s saddy times for Tesco demi god Terry Leahy Philip Clarke, who might have to dig deep and send his new Diamonique cuff links back to the shop.

Perhaps we could all club together to buy him some reduced Cornish pasties of indeterminate origin and a week’s supply of marrowfat peas- just until he’s back on his feet?

After all, every little helps.


  • noshit
    Tesco has a long way to go. Selling food but they don't know if it is what they say it is? I drive to Asda and Sainsburys now. One month of reduced prices ain't going to work Mr Tesco.
  • Tom
    Terry isn't CEO any more.
  • Colin
    why do people seem to take delight in companies and people who do well for them selves failing a little. Is it because you haven't been able to do the same yourself? Lucy you come across as quite bitter in this and other articles you have written.
  • Avon B.
    Yeah Lucy, take a chill pill or something. Cuh! Some people, eh?
  • Grammar N.
    @ Colin - the first sentence, the bit after the hyphen, suggests at least a couple of reasons why people might not be big fans of Tesco. That said, profits are still over £2bn so given everything that has happened they are still doing pretty well.
  • Marly M.
    does this push them ahead of bitterwallet on the deathwatch list?
  • Kevin
    A drop isn't good but it's only 8% If they are only getting a drop of that (and mainly because of the mistakes in the US) after all the horsemeat issues there really is nothing that will stop them.
  • shiftynifty
    They are a industrial supermarket selling industrial food...and the reason why people take delight in their misfortune is this Selling over-priced industrial food...with no idea of wtf is in it hardly endears you to customers...they will not fail...but they will fall badly....which is good enough for me...
  • whasitoya
    One story on a Monday....*DEATH WATCH*
  • Kerr A.
    Is BitterWallet dying ?
  • badger
    @Kerr Avon Hell yes.
  • JonB
    Is that 8% drop just for Tesco UK or is it Tesco International?
  • chewbacca's m.
    @Grammar Nazi What a pompous cunt you are! Unbelievable.

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