New range of stuffed toys need love, understanding and Valium

9 September 2010

Bitterwallet’s in-house child-rearing experts reckon that it’s good for kids to have toys that they can relate to, so that their play can reflect the lives that they live from day to day.

But what if the kids in question are being raised by depressed or paranoid parents? A quick straw poll held here in the BW HQ showed that 100% per cent of parents would describe themselves as either ‘depressed’ or ‘really fucking depressed’. Not good.

Thankfully, here comes a range of stuffed animal toys that each suffer from a different psychiatric illness. Hailing from Germany, the line-up includes Dub the turtle with severe depression, Sly the snake who suffers from terrifying hallucinations, Dolly the sheep with a multiple personality disorder and a crocodile with an irrational fear of water.

An unshaven fox clutching a bottle of whisky would be a nice addition though, wouldn't it?

Alle

[The Awl]

TOPICS:   High Street News   Travel

14 comments

  • pauski
    And what's the hippo's problem? Addiction to speed?
  • coversnail
    What's the hippo's problem? Is he paranoid that people will keep commenting that he looks like the love child of Zippy and George?
  • Nobby
    The hippo is addicted to a (jigsaw) puzzle and avoids everything else around him.
  • Nobby
    The sheep is a type of plush transformer, cool.
  • Michael O.
    Bipolar Bear would have been a good one.
  • pauski
    ^ or an octopus with OCD
  • pauski
    Or an Albatross with acrophobia
  • coversnail
    They've missed a trick by not including a teddy with an inbuilt voive chip programmed with hundreds of swear words, I'd by Touettes Ted.
  • Darren
    What’s the hippo’s problem? He's got wood, and can't do anything with it!
  • Alexis
    Is the blue hippo self harming?
  • zim
    Not really intended for children, they come from flash game on the same site http://www.parapluesch.de/# click on the brit/usa flag for english.
  • More B.
    [...] we wowed you all with a new range of soft toys from Germany, each of which purportedly suffers from some kind of psychological illness. “Pah,” said avid Bitterwallet reader Billy Pilgrim, as he pointed us in the direction of [...]
  • Bored
    "Thankfully, here comes a range of stuffed animal toys that each suffer ...." You know if you click on the link in that sentence in your text it takes you straight to the site logged in as a user...? Perhaps you should edit it, and the site should check its security settings.
  • mezzoalto
    the hippo is autistic..

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