Mothercare cash in - sorry – ‘commemorate’ the Royal baby

In a desperate attempt to revive their flagging fortunes, Mothercare is launching a new range of royal baby themed clothing and toys. They include playsets including corgis and the Duke of Edinburgh being racist about the Japanese, and awful bibs with ‘When I grow up I want to be a Princess’ embroidered on them by tearful Bangladeshi factory workers.


And, if you’re a real royal bellend, you might even be able to buy a pram in the style of a horse drawn carriage, which will look dead classy when you’re pushing it around 99p Stores with a fag on the go.

Mothercare are the first of many retailers who will be launching a range of goods to cash in on the royal foetus, which is due in July. But chief executive Simon Calver insists it’s not cashing in per se.

‘We're looking to commemorate, celebrate, to have a bit of fun. Babies are going to be the thing people talk about this year.’ He said, not rubbing his hands together with glee at all.

And what better way to commemorate the beginning of a new life than with idiocy?


  • Marky M.
    shiftynifty! Quick! Here's your chance!
  • Captain.Cretin
    Lucy is spot-on, MC products are badly made and vastly over priced. We bought a set of bibs there that started curling up where the velcro joins, even BEFORE they had been washed, in contrast, a cheaper set from Asda show no signs of curling after 4 months of use. MC's OWN BRAND sipper cup is nearly twice the price of the No.1 selling brand in the UK, where is the logic in that??
  • WhatTheHell
    Why haven't mothercare gone bust yet?
  • Howard a.
    @ Whatthehell Because they closed the loss-making stores, invested in the profitable ones, and expanded overseas.
  • Big M.
    The amount of shitty little stores they did have was astounding.
  • shiftynifty
    Marky Mark...What drugs are you on today then...
  • Dick
    They should do some republican ones too. Maybe start with something light like "off with their heads" with a picture of broccoli on the bib.

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