Morrisons to sack people for the blight that is self-service tills

Morrisons Morrisons are going to lay-off 700 people from their stores across the UK, not because they're performing badly, rather, to be replaced by dreadful self-service machines.

Basically, supermarkets are not only replacing human beings with robots, but they're also expecting you to do the work vacated by them. Will we see a drop in price for doing our own check-out duties? Like fuck.

Of course, in a climate where people are really struggling to find a job, Morrisons are just the latest set of shagsacks who are willing to ignore it and provide a system so irritating that it can only be a profit-lengthening campaign.

The only thing that would make self-service checkouts useful is if they came with a loaded revolver attached to the side so you could end your life as the pointless machine creepily tells you about an unexpected item in the bagging area. Of course, the unexpected item is a human head, repeatedly banging against it in a weirdly staffless supermarket.

Instead of people who need jobs, now, Morrisons will only require one or two people at each store to cash from the tills at the end of each day.

Morrisons said: "The introduction of new technology is an ongoing programme to ensure that Morrisons continues to improve its competitiveness. The new technology will simplify the operation and mean that cash can be automatically counted."

Apart from the antisocial arseholes who actually prefer these machines, the rest of us should make sure these godawful machines actually cost the supermarkets money by exploiting the fact that they make it really easy to shoplift or, indeed, we should all 'accidentally' fill them with fizzy pop until the insides rot.

Get rid of them. Get rid of them now.


  • Lord S.
    you didn't actually read the story did you Mof. they are putting in automated cash handling machines, to replace people counting money in the back office. This has nothing to do with self service checkouts. Moron.
  • brians u.
    a company streamlining their processes to assist their business from going into administration. Gosh they must be evil...
  • Daisy D.
    Self-service checkouts are good news for me. I buy the expensive types of fruit and veg, and scan them through as the cheap versions. Bargain. I've not been spot-checked yet and, if they're laying people off, the chance of that ever happening gets even more remote.
  • JonB
    Just because you don't know how to use the self-service machines doesn't mean you can call those of us who don't want to wait in a huge queue waiting for someone to scan our items "antisocial arseholes".
  • andy y.
    OK Mof where do you shop? Some locally owned corner shop or a big semi automated supermarket chain with lower prices and costs.
  • Alexis
    I hate Morrisons self service machines. I don't know which company sold them to them, but they are a nightmare. You have to reach around the side of the machine to bag up, and you're screwed if you need more than one bag. Plus they never work properly, always throwing up errors. Sainsbury's and Tesco machines work fine. The poor woman at Morrisons always looks knackered because she has to fix an error every 20 seconds because of their godawful machines.
  • Kev
    I do a lot of online shopping now, only time I visit is for milk or bread. If a supermarket goes 100% self service I'll simply use one that doesn't or a normal shop.
  • kully
    Can we get rid of blog writers who cannot be bothered to research at the same time? Silly chap.
  • John
    I have no opinion whatsoever on this or any other article published here.
  • M4RKM
    Lord Snooty is correct. I read this article this morning in an old fashioned news paper. The automated systems are in the back office, not more self service tills. Why is it that we're commenting here, and the incorrect article never gets corrected?
  • Lord S.
    @M4RKM Why let the facts get in the way of a good sweary rant...
  • Inspector G.
    And are they actually going to 'lay off' 700 people - that's an awful lot of redundancy payments? If I was a large northern supermarket that had no need for a tiny fraction of my workforce any more I'd probably let natural wastage take care of it.
  • bah h.
    Mof, cool story bro - only a site like Bitterwallet can take an already correctly reported story, read it, completely misinterpret it and add the usual wildly patronising slanted opinions. Great reporting mate, keep up the good work.
  • Table t.
    Jeeesh....Mof did you used to write for the Daily Star or the Sunday Sport?
  • andy y.
    even they sacked him
  • Dick
    Shame, I like the self service tills. They don't try to strike up a conversation with you or comment on your purchases when all you want to do is get going.
  • Justin A.
    @Dick, damn right. Scanning myself is quicker and more efficient. I don't need help buying staple groceries.
  • Mustapha S.
    Automated machines are great, makes shoplifting easier
  • William
    I'm automatic counting machine and start my new job on Monday.
  • ShopWorker
    Yeah, youve read it wrong, its not self service tills, it is the back office. Im an office manager and im devastated. We've known for a while about a new system, but never thought the work redundancies would be mentioned... its a big enough place but apparently a lot of us are unlikely to be redeployed. Also, my job isnt to just stand there and cound money, i already have a machine to do that!! My job involved a lot, including balancing lottery sales, stamps and vouchers, cashier investagations, cashier errors, void item investagations, refund investagations... and the list goes on!! the worst part is this job will now be over seen by the Admin Manager, and they wont be getting any extra pay!!!! Morrisons could of done it in such a way to limit redundancys but theyve chose not to, and to let everyone know at the last minute so we have no time to take over other job roles.
  • Dick
    Sounds like some people are going to go from "Pick of the Street" to "Pick off the Street".
  • Colin
    How do back office money counting machines make it easier to shoplift? Another sensational story from Mufdiving 'Italkapileofshite' Gimpers
  • Seymour
    @ShopWorker Stop being a fucking cunt, you only need one exclamation mark at the end of every sentence you want to express strongly. Not fucking ten times.
  • Derek
    @Seymour, I think you meant "Not fucking ten times!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Col
    I nip into the shop to buy a paper and want to get out as quickly as possible, self scan is perfect.
  • ShopWorker
  • Wongaporkpies
    Very inaccurate story Bitterwallet. The staff which face consultation are those in the back office where staff that manually count cash in each store, will be replaced with automated counting machines ! If you are going to publish something get facts right !
  • Sicknote
    Can you imagine the scene of a room full of hundreds of staff counting money; like some Dickens novel.
  • Alex
    Hi Mof I think you have just made up a story! As others have said the job losses are nothing to do with self service machines. It is to do with people working in the cash offices.
  • greeny
    Dog shalgers
  • Phil M.
    Hopefully the 'staff' at bitterwallet will be laid off, and replaced by machines that are able to read news stories
  • Sporky M.
    And that will be the only time that they are laid..
  • Dragonshane88
    I worked for morrisons and think the management r crap but even tho u think that, morrisons dont lay off works at all. They simplarly dnt replace the staff that leaves such as students and general leavers. They also cut over time to save money. Its against the company policy to ever sack ppl through a lack of work cus they will have to pay redundency whih is why its policy not to sack for lack of need
  • N
    I am putting in self-service tills in the north pole. if you lazy arse kids want toys you damn well buy em and check out your goddamn selves.
  • Ned L.
    Smash the machines, jobs for the workers. Down with ... never mind this has been done before. I'm going home to eat my family for a fiver. It was a bet.
  • Jonny S.
    Are they also going to replace Ant and Dec in the adverts with some soulless money grabbing machines destined to destroy civilization as we know it? Oh wait, hang on, I watched Red or Black once....
  • David G.
    Not only do you miss what's going on, but you miss the very point of supermarkets. If you were supporting employment in your local community you wouldn't be using supermarkets that's raison d'etre is to make more money by offering cheaper products thanks to labour savings. Go to your local greengrocer, butcher and the like.
  • chewbacca's m.
    @David G Along with "Raison's" there is also the Currant debate..
  • Vijay R.
    Great Work! Very wonderful post.
  • Eddie
    Here here to more self service machines, out with deadbeat staff handling my groceries, this is a dream come true.
  • Toby L.
    You all smell terrible

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