Middle Classes to riot as goat's cheese shortage is announced
Britain could be looking at one of the most fey riots on record as the Middle Classes find out that there's a supply shortage of goat cheese.
Stocks from European herds have slumped drastically in the last year, thanks to more than 50,000 pregnant goats and sheep being culled across Europe as officials tried to tackle the Q fever disease.
Apparently, some experts reckon that a load of farmers gave up breeding goats altogether.
In addition to that, there's a growing demand in China which is putting pressure on supplies in Europe because, as we all know, what China wants, China gets. Of course, this could all be a massive crock as farmer frighten buyers into paying more for the product and, as Christmas is coming, demand is going to be up.
However, Howard Newmarch of specialist cheesemaker Eurilait says: "Inevitably there will be allocations to ensure that customers are supplied in part, but not totally what they want."
With reports that the price of chocolate could rise by a third, it seems the Middle Classes will only have boutique gin left to get them through this tricky time, which means when they've stopped crying at the foot of their stairs, they'll be beating each other up in shops to get their cheese, in the first mass fey scrap since The Cabbage Patch Doll Riots.