Maclaren pushchair eats children
What happens when a pram amputates your child's fingers off? You either assume it has somehow grown teeth and turned on your family in some dystopian nightmare or, you assume that your product is a piece of badly made shite.
Mercifully, we're not at the Sentient Pram stage in history yet (that's going to be around 2034 for the record... the same year Jimmy Savile finally dies), but rather, we're slap bang in the middle of the Disposable Crap Era.
As such, one million folding pushchairs, produced by British company Maclaren, are being recalled Stateside because twelve of them have been reported as slicing off the fingertips of future idiots/doctors.
Specifically, the product recall concerns nine models of 'umbrella' strollers (the ones that fold up for easier storage). The hinge mechanism on the pushchairs have been causing the bloodshed.
So while our American cousins are getting things done, what about those sold in the UK? Well, a spokeswoman for Maclaren has said that there will be no recall because the prams pass EU standards and have been AOKed by British trading standards, it's perfectly fine for British kids to potentially get their pinkies lopped off.
"Maclaren consulted with Trading Standards in the UK and, as our products conform to European safety standards (EN1888), it was agreed no action was deemed necessary" said a spokeswoman.
If you must know, the models that are trying to eat children are: the Volo, Triumph, Quest Sport, Quest Mod, Techno XT, TechnoXLR, Twin Triumph, Twin Techno and Easy Traveller.
Perhaps it is time for Maclaren to produce some child sized Gauntlets?