Lidl is COMING

lidllogo1 Prepare for the invasion of the budget giant – Lidl has announced a £220m expansion drive that could see a branch opening in your BRAIN.

Well, it might not go that far, but we’ll certainly see blue, yellow and red budget supermarket saturation on the high street, with 20 new stores opening in the next nine months – bringing the UK total to 620 stores.

It’ll be good for the economy, and for employment (that’s if you want to work as a ‘freshness co-ordinator’ – ie: tomato fondler). There’s going to be more fresh produce, and bakeries in every store, and there’ll also be jobs at their HQ in Wimbledon, as it concentrates on buying new and ever cheaper stock.

Lidl generated £3.3bn in sales last year, and there are no signs that the budget behemoth is slowing down. In fact, soon, the world will be awash with stacks of off-brand nuts and suspiciously cheap dolmades and cartons of orange juice as big as your head.

Lidl boss man Ronny Gottschlisch said:

'We’re focused on a single goal – giving our customers the freshest, highest-quality products possible at the best value. We operate on a highly efficient business model and source as much as we can locally because it supports UK producers and also limits the financial and environmental impact of transport.’

German efficiency has won the day. Beat that, Tesco.


  • Han S.
    And? Aldi announed it'll open 500 stores last weeks taking it's total to 1000 so what's your point?
  • God
    If Lidl are listening, PLEASE bring back those lovely cream soap bars with orange peel, they were far nicer than Dove bars.
  • seb
    netto is coming back too!
  • People P.
    How will this be "be good for the economy, and for employment"? Unless LIDL will be encouraging people to spend more, this is just supermarket cannibalism. My impression is that the budget supermarkets employ less people per customer than Tesco, Sainsbury's, Waitrose etc - so surely there will be a reduction in employment.
  • Big M.
    ^ 'my impression is' unsubstantiated opinions. And it's 'fewer' people, not 'less'. And you have no idea about economics. That will be all.
  • Big M.
    But hey People People, keep sticking it to the man by unilaterally supporting Tesco and Waitrose etc.

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