Kellogg axes Coco Pops that aren't Coco Pops
Do you like Coco Pops? If you're reading this site, chances are you're an adult, which means, invariably, someone has laughed at you for liking a cereal clearly aimed at children. Apparently, on your 21st birthday, you're meant to be issued with a letter from Prince Charles ordering you to start eating porridge or muesli instead.
Of course, when people tell you not to do something, quite often, you dig your heels in and do it even more. As such, you may have found yourself in a lay-by, scoffing Coco Pops and related products like someone who has just been released from a hostage situation.
There's bad news I'm afraid.
Kellogg's are still making Coco Pops but they're not bothering with the associated product range anymore. This means that the cereal manufacturer is discontinuing its Coco Pops Straws and Coco Pops Creations variants. I know, I know... I'm crying as a type and trying to self-harm with a Corn Flake. It's taking ages but I think I might be about to break the flesh.
It's not that surprising that the Coco Pops Straws are getting pulled. I mean, the ad' campaign for them saw Coco the Monkey saying "If you think breakfast cereal sucks, you're absolutely right. With Coco Pops Straws you suck the milk and munch the straw." Effectively, that's a little cartoon ape slagging off the rest of the products made by his employers. Simians have been turned into ashtrays for less.
This all comes on the back of Kellogg's taking the salt out of their cereal with nearly a third being taken out of Coco Pops. Pesky Food Standards Agency and health groups. Spoiling my breakfast in the name of what's good for my heart. I've started pre-emptively pouring whole tubs of Saxa on each meal to compensate (and petty, possibly fatal rebellion).
The company reckon that this change will decrease Britain's annual salt intake by about 300 tonnes and, perhaps more pertinently, will ensure that no Kellogg's products will have a dirty great red label on the front for high salt content under the FSA's traffic-light food-labelling scheme.
Now, back to self-harming...