JJB Sports gets a massive Dick injection

5 April 2012

JJBJJB Sports looked all dead and buried for the past 12 months, but along came a massive American Dick to penetrate their books and offer a lifeline.

And how big is the Dick in question?

Well, JJB have got themselves an investment of (up to) £40m from US retailer Dick's Sporting Goods, which is great for puerile idiots like us.

Dick's are going to pump an initial £20m into the sportswear retailer as well as thrusting an additional £20m in the form of convertable loan notes to address JJB's medium-term funding needs. Sexual. Of course, the shareholders of JJB have got to approve the  appearance of all this Dick. Should they allow it into their precious area, JJB could be 60pc Dick.

In a statement on Thursday, chief executive Keith Jones said he believed the Dick investment would "provide a real opportunity to accelerate JJB's turnaround," despite the "ongoing credit squeeze on consumers and weaker UK employment numbers".

Will all this Dick arouse sales with your average pleb in Wigan? We'll have to see how much Wiganers like Dick we suppose.

TOPICS:   High Street News

14 comments

  • Andrew R.
    Not even going to read the article, but kudos on the headline.
  • Head
    Where's Dick and Boris?
  • Wonkey H.
    Bollocks to this. I'm off to bum a badger.
  • Alan's m.
    Isn't it about time Bitterwallet had a rebranding ? And got a book out ?
  • Mike H.
    So, they employ dicks, sell crap to dicks, and invested in by dicks.
  • Mary H.
    No, can't see the dick sorry. The J looks slightly like a shlang? Where's Graeme when you need the cunt.
  • Graeme
    The J looks just like a penis! No, hang on, no, looks like a J. No penis here. What a complete and utter tit-end I am! All I see is penises everywhere!
  • Alan's m.
    Graeme love, just pop round ours with Iain. I'm serving up some lovely fishy fingers for tea, you will feel much better with something warm inside you.
  • Sicknote
    In the US the word Dick means something else - not a man's cock...but faggot means a man that like's man sausage and not a tasty meaty treat in gravy. They're fucked up over there.
  • mr n.
    Damm You Bitterwallet!!!
  • qwertyuiop
    As someone who lives not too far from Wigan, I find your article quite offensive Mof. I'm telling Emperor Palpatine on you!
  • Saint H.
    I live quite close to Wigan and didn't find the article offensive enough.
  • knob c.
    I live near Wonkey Henry and he's very offensive.
  • googlesucks
    Why inject cash? theres not much going on at JJb as far as sales are concerned. Shouldn't JJb be in administration by now?? because SportsDirect & JDSports have all the customers. SportsDirects slogan is 'the easy way to shop' JDSports slogan is 'the choice of Chavs' The only time chavs are going into JJb, is to steal from the JJb clearance stores, where the store has both trainers on display.. so these chavs go in with a dirty old pair of shoes or trainers & walk out with a brand new pair for absolutely FREE! WTF

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