It’s official - Beyonce is perfect and we are not worthy

30 May 2013

Even supermodels require a bit of airbrushing here and there, to hide the coke burns and the ravages of living on coffee, Wrigley’s Extra and one canapé a day.

Beyonce

But not Queen Beyonce. She is such a divine celestial being that H&M have had to press the Photoshop undo button after they airbrushed photos to make her look slimmer. She went in a righteous rage at the unsolicited digital weight loss and went all Sascha Fierce on their ass.

Her people stopped the publication of the airbrushed photos, so H&M was forced to run the original untouched shots of her looking… well, perfect. It’s not exactly a feminist triumph, but it’s encouraging to know that she’s using her considerable power to stick 2 fingers up to the fashion industry and go au naturel.

And I think we can all agree that she looks very nice in that yellow bikini. Now I’m going to go and cry in a corner and eat an entire packet of Jaffa Cakes.

TOPICS:   High Street News   TV

13 comments

  • Mike O.
    She looks so nice in that bikini that the usual onanistic bunch of commentors are obviously busy off visiting mrs palm and her five lovely daughters. An activity with which they are adept. Im not, because im too tight to waste a blue pill.
  • Nikey H.
    Lucy, I am sure you are as pretty as Beyonce. Photographic proof required please!
  • jim
    mmm jaffa cakes
  • Justin A.
    Just to balance out an article in which Beyonce's staff look all upstanding, modest, honest and decent: they called a Manchester nightclub and said they'd like to have her take the club's VIP area for the night after her gig at the Arena. As long as the club paid a fee for the privilege of having this superstar on their premises! Spoilt materialistic Americans on the blag for some freebies and some easy cash as well.
  • Mike O.
    @Tim B Finished already? Time for a second one soon. You silver tongued lothario you.
  • Sharon
    If she is sooo perfect like you claim then why did she have a nose job, wear butt pads, have breast implants, wear blonde weave and lace front wigs, bleach her skin and wear false eyelasses, nails and make-up. She is made up to appear perfect but she is far from that. Remove all the stuff I just mentioned and she is a basic girl. She is not even confident enough to wear her real hair. Stop idolizing her and other celebrities because it takes a village & money to make them look 'perfect'.
  • tom
    @Sharon It takes the village people to make her look good?
  • Dr Z.
    Enough already, Sharon! Mmmm, that bird's nest in your bedraggled hair looks utterly delightful my dear.
  • oliverreed
    So why the "we are not worthy" comment?
  • Old G.
    I wouldn't kick her out of bed but hold her up as a role model? No chance.
  • Old G.
    Actually I would kick her out of bed. After we'd done the deed so she could bring my smokes and a beverage. It's tradition you know.
  • james d.
    Can we stop saying airbrushing yet? I mean seriously when was the last time anyone used an airbrush?
  • Weirdo
    Honestly, what fat DID they remove from Beyonce? She's perfect.. like an anime... big boobs. Tiny waist. A bubble butt and curvy hips. She's certainly not ugly. Honestly, where did they remove the fat?

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